Trashed.

Did I mention the talking trash can? I didn’t did I?

I had heard about the remote control trashcans at Disney parks before and I saw one in Florida, but it didn’t appear to be talking, just chasing some kids around. But while we were in California Adventure we got a little turned around, so my friend pulled out her map (she is obsessed with Disney maps, by the way, I just feel the need to say that). I saw the trash can out of the corner of my eye, it came charging down a back alley way and started calling to her “Hello! Are you lost? Can I help you find something?” She didn’t notice it at first and I said “Um, I think that trashcan is talking to you.”

It was really cute and really nicely done. The trashcan was friendly and a little sarcastic and told us that it would lead the way to “Soarin’” We had a nice little chat along the way. Kids were absolutely perplexed by it, running up and shoving their hands in the trashcan to see who was inside (no one, just trash). The trash can informed us that his name was PUSH and chatted with us for about ten minutes as he guided us most of the way to our destination. He asked where we were from and upon hearing about our Jersey roots questioned us about Bon Jovi and the Boss.

I gotta say, I was impressed with how smooth the trashcan was, both in his motions and in his patter. I scanned the crowd to find the operator and it took me several minutes to pick him out. Youngish guy, blue jeans, white shirt and a black bag slung across his chest. He kept his hand up to his mouth as if he was thinking or rubbing his chin and as soon as he saw me identify him, he totally disappeared into the crowd.

Later I called my husband to let him know that my friend had been hit on by a talking trashcan. He said “I thought you went to Disney, not to Hollywood.” Ha.

Cough.

No, no, it wasn’t a two-week vacation. That would have been nice, but no. I got home well over a week ago. Then it took a few days to recover…then it took a few more to get sick. And then recover again, which I am still working on. The recovery, I mean. And no, it wasn’t the typical “caught a cold on the airplane” thing. Although I am very, very good at that. I returned fully healthy and sort of relaxed, even though it would be quite a stretch to call the vacation relaxing. It was pretty hardcore, go-go-go, theme parking. But when I felt pretty well recovered from that, and back in the correct time zone, I noticed that a few of my co-workers were suspiciously missing from work. And the cold has since plowed its way through the office, taking us down one by one.

So I am back but I am not recovered but whatever. I was at Disneyworld for a week. It’s worth the cold. And although I wouldn’t call my vacation “relaxing” it was fun, fun, fun. And surprisingly, everything pretty much went our way. After being told by a concierge that no reservations were available at one of the few restaurants we deemed unmissable, we walked up to the door and were told we could get a table. OK, we said when do you have an opening. Um…when do you want to eat? No fuss, no muss. And it was good. And so was high tea. And so was not having to wait in line for anything for more than about 20 minutes and most of the time walking right on a ride, then walking off and walking right back on again. Sure, it was hot. About ninety-five most days. And humid. 100% humidity and several bouts of rain. There were blisters the size of Cadillacs and emergency “get the hell out of the sun!” moments but it was good. And we had fun. And now we are both at our respective homes and it’s a wee bit sad.

And if you are headed to Disney, do not miss the new-ish pirates. It’s, as I am sure you know, the same old pirates with a few new additions. I’ll be honest. I was never a huge fan of the ride and even less of one after being stuck in it for half an hour back in 1987, but I liked the updates quite a lot and it made the ride less…ok, look, I am afraid of water rides, OK? I can handle “it’s a small word” but that’s about it. I just keep waiting for something awful to pop up out of the water. So far nothing has, but the lovely new animatronics Jack Sparrow kept me engaged without being twitchy. And I am not really a Jack Sparrow fan. I’d much prefer a little more Barbossa myself. Or even more Davy Jones. But hey, yes, lovely job.

Now I’ve got to get back to coughing and wishing I could take a nap. Sigh.

Warm.

Oh it must be back to school time because I am looking at notebooks and journals and schoolbags and wishing I needed some. The stationary lust hits hard in September but I am well stocked and have no need for just one more sharpie set or one more blank book. Don’t get me wrong, I will find a reason to have them all but at the moment…nothing. My husband did give me a big ol’ handful of mini gel pens though, that ought to keep me at bay for a while.

So, it’s been hot. Did you know? Like super hot, hot. Like even I think it’s hot kind of hot. I am the girl that requires sweaters until it’s in the eighties and three quarter sleeves until it’s 93 degrees out. I sleep in sweats or long pajamas and even I wore a tank top to bed. Over one hundred degrees for many days. This made the weekend quite unpleasant and claustrophobic as we only have air conditioning in one room. Going to the bathroom was brutal. Going to bed in the actual bedroom was unthinkable. More than ten minutes in the kitchen? No way. But going out? Also unthinkable. Imponderable. Unbearable. So I sat in my little corner of the couch and read and watched Mad Men and…did very little. Hey, I would have cleaned…really…if it hadn’t been so hot. But…you know it was for my health that I didn’t.

Now in truth, it has been my experience anyway, that it’s really only unbearably hot in Los Angeles for about two weeks of the year. Not always two weeks in a row but in general, only about 14 days a year require me to use the air conditioner…but also keep in mind, I am like the lizard. Cold blooded. I like the warm. In general, when everyone else is saying it’s way too hot, I am quite happy. But when I say hot. It’s hot. But two weeks is ok. I can handle that. People tend to forget though. In a week or so it will still be pretty warm and people will start saying things like “It’s September, it should be cooler than this” as they have said every year in all my ten years here. And guess what. Every year it’s been this hot around this time. So, what do I do? I leave. Next week I am off to Florida, where it is…hot. But I will be in Disney where there are may cool places to hide, so I won’t mind. Also, Disney as an adult…much more entertaining. There are already plans in motion for cocktails and…well, more cocktails. I can’t wait. And then after cocktails there will be much shopping and more cocktails and IT’S A SMALL WORLD. It shall be grand, I tell you, GRAND!