I’ve never been one for live music. Not recordings of concerts or concerts themselves. And it’s really only for one reason. I like to see musicians having fun, jamming their little hearts out. I do. Really. Well, except for those really endless jams. But what I don’t like about live shows and recordings of live shows is exactly what makes it live. People.
Don’t get me wrong. I like people just fine…OH WHO AM I KIDDING? I hate people. We all know that. And people who insist on singing along when I paid $80 to see Boy George sing Karma Chameleon his own damn self, man they really piss me off. And I don’t like standing behind that really tall guy either. And I absolutely hate that dirty hippie that insists on smoking the world’s biggest joint at every freakin’ show I see. Who the heck needs weed to get in the mood to hear Supertramp…oh. Yeah. Right. But see, I am allergic to that stuff and when you smoke it with me in the same area code and sing along…I CAN’T ENJOY MYSELF. And we all know that if Ren ain’t happy…she goes home quietly and stews about it.
And the recordings of live shows are just like being at a live show without the weed. (And really people, do you need your weed at every damn show? Seriously? Just say no.) Oh it’s toke free but the assholes still sing along. On the two disc cd that I paid thirty dollars for. You know why Elton John sings “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,” dude? SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO!
But all that changed today. I finally realized why people love live recordings so much. I was listening to Billy Bragg and Jill Solbule singing “All the Young Dudes” and right in the middle of it she yells…”You in the glasses, I think I love you!” and I thought…wait a minute…I’m wearing glasses! She loves me! And then the crowd went wild and I realized that they were all clapping for me!
I finally know where to get that little ego boost when I need it. All those live recordings that I have been ignoring for years…they have all the applause I could ever want! It’s like having my very own cheering section. And they think I am awesome! They want more!
Dude, I freakin’ rock.
See also: comedy recordings. Man can I make them laugh!