Friday, September 01, 2006

License to make me ill.

I have always wanted a license plate holder. You know what I mean, right? Those frames around your license plate that has some witty saying or adorable picture on it. They seem to be a nice alternative to bumper stickers when you feel you have something you must proclaim but might change your mind about later. Just in case your presidential pick ends up sucking or something. But, like most things, I over think the liscence plate holder. I want it to say something about me but I don’t want it to say too much about me. I am always kind of concerned for the grandmothers who proudly announce via the license plate frame that they are “Tyler, Anastasia and Betty’s Bubbie”. I worry that some unscrupulous person will take advantage of them somehow with that information.

I thought for a while that I would get a college alumni frame. But then I remembered that I don’t like my college all that much and why should I advertise for them when all they ever gave me was…well…hell, I paid for everything I got there (ok, MY PARENTS paid for a lot of it, but I paid in blood! And sweat! And various other bodily fluids that shall remain nameless). And you know, about a month before I graduated, I got called into the financial comptroller persons office and they asked me if I would mind pimping for donations to the college at the various senior events that would be going on for that time before graduation! They said that they felt that people would be receptive to giving money to the college at the senior balls and parties since they would be in a good mood. I was aghast. Seriously. I don’t use the word “aghast” lightly. I told them no, only with a lot of other really unpleasant words mixed in and stormed out. So, um…no, not pimping for the college with the license plate frame. Look, I told you I over think these things.

Well, last night, I came across someone who didn’t over think his license plate frame. I am not easily shocked and I am not one to censor myself but I gotta spell this one out. His frame was black with silver writing and his truck was big and badass. There were three people in the cab. The driver was male. The front seat passenger was, I think, also a dude and there was a woman in the back seat. I am assuming that the driver was the owner of the truck and the one who decided that “Hold my beer while I ef-you-cee-kay your bitch” would make a nifty statement to all drivers behind him. It sure made an impression on me.

And here I was thinking that the skulls I wanted might send the wrong message.

3 comments:

Jodi said...

I regret none of my bumper stickers or license plate holders. Maybe I underthink everything.

acmcclendon said...

wow! that is a good one! i'm wondering if that guy is from oklahoma originally. around here, the guys who come in to town with their women still make them sit in the middle of the truck front seat. who cares about the seat-belt, it's all about having her sit RIGHT next to you, so you have control. it's bitchin.
btw i do pimp for my university, only because i'm kind of proud of how well i did and i haven't done anything that great since.

Chris said...

There was a guy in a sports car in front of us, driving erratically and barking his tires every time the light changed (in traffic heavy enough that we stayed behind him for several lights, so his quick starts weren't impressing anyone or getting him there any quicker).

Anyway, his custom tag was "OMGWTF" (I've heard some states reject WTF) and it was a "Helping Schools" tag. I thought this was extra funny until I found out that customization is free on "Helping Schools" tags.