What We Have Learned From the Television

In which semi-intelligent thought quickly degenerates into “CUTE BOY TALK” again and “What I Learned from TV”

So, apparently, I am the one of the very few people that likes “Threshold”. But how can I resist any show that has the worlds top LINGUISITCS EXPERT as a character. He’s not just a languages expert but LINGUISTICS! That’s awesome, and not just because I almost failed my linguistics class in college (it wasn’t me, it was the teacher, we even filed a formal complaint and had him reviewed!). But linguistics is a totally fascinating and sort of alien field all on it’s own. Some of it is so far beyond my ken, that I have no idea what the heck it is but I totally dig on glottal stops, sibilants, and regional dialect kind of stuff.

Oh, hey, this is kind of geeky isn’t it? Heh. Anyway, Peter Dinklage has a beautiful voice too. I want to see him play some Shakespearian role but I can’t decide which one. I’m leaning towards Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing.

So, I asked both Jules and Jodi-odi-odi to tell me what they have learned from TV…
Jules says (and I comment in red):

1. NO PRISON TATS!!!!
The whole MRI thing on House looked way too painful
She is referring to the recent episode with LL Cool J as a guest star. He was covered in prison tattoos and apparently the ink used in prisons is generally full of heavy metals, which are drawn to the surface of the skin during an MRI. So yeah, owie. I’m going to have to agree with her one this one.

2. The couch is a great place to nap, but don't stay there so long that
your skin fuses with the fabric.
Nip/tuck has also taught me that I really don't want plastic surgery
- It all looks incredibly painful
This was in the “Mama Boone” episode of Nip/Tuck. It was really, very…nasty. But much to my surprise, it was played with a lot of sensitivity on the part of all the characters.

3. If being chased in a building, never run UP the stairs.
That’s just on pretty much every TV show ever - they always end up
cornered on the roof, and I don't think I would be very good a jumping
from rooftop to rooftop
Personally, I think this is just a good general rule. Who he heck wants to run up the stairs?

4. If you find a psycho in the back of your car and you plan to crash
the car to hurt the psycho and get away, first tug at your seatbelt so
it locks and you don't get hurt.
Thank you Veronica Mars.
Oh! This was a clever one. I remember thinking that was very smart and that I probably wouldn’t have thought to do it.

5. Crazy glue will close a deep cut in a pinch.
That was from years ago on ER when Nurse Hathaway was being held
hostage in a convenience store by a psycho.
I actually know this one and I don’t watch ER. They say you can also use it if you have cracked fingertips or heels but I have read mixed reports on the effectiveness in such matters. I usually only succeed in gluing my fingers to the table anytime I use that stuff anyway.

You can read Jodi-odi-odi’s answers over at her place.

As for myself:
1. It is best, when confronted by aliens to shoot first and ask questions later, unless they are hot, sexy aliens, then kiss first, shoot and finally ask questions if you still find it necessary.
2. He doesn’t have to be my “Jewish friend” he only has to be my “friend.”
3. Never stand on the top of a staircase holding a stack of banana cream pies.
4. I don’t want to be friends with any of the Friends or Will or Grace or anyone who has ever appeared on an episode of Seinfeld.
5. We should all feel free to be you and me.