Annnnd....we're back!

Whew.

No, seriously…whew.

It was a looooong trip but I am back and (as far as you know) we BOTH made it back alive and no one remains on a desert highway…

As far as you know.

It was good. I had fun. I never need to do that again. But that was kind of the point. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and we took it and ran with it. And despite the weather and the distance it was all good. But about noon-ish yesterday I started thinking, “I want this over. I want to be home NOW!” We did get home around 6 pm after being greeted in California by, what else? TRAFFIC! Yay! At least it felt like we were home.

I am sure I will spend way too much time breaking down the trip and Christmas and all the visits and what have you but I just wanted to thank all parties involved for the well wishes, the lovely gifts and the beds to in which to sleep. I am sorry I didn’t make it to Tulsa to visit an Ambitious Hamster or to Atlanta to visit an amazing artist but seriously, you wouldn’t have wanted us in the traveling state of mind that we were in.

So, for today, a few highlights of the cross country tour of insanity…

• rain
• followed by freezing rain
• followed by flurries
• followed by a big fucking blizzard that very nearly had us turn back (but no. And I will tell you about that at some other time)
• James eating “the best sandwich” of his life and then spending two hours on the bed in a crappy motel alternately moaning “I’m dying!” and “That was the best sandwich of my life!” (He’ll tell you I am exaggerating…but I am not)
• GIANT JESUS! (now you’re intrigued, aren’t you?)
• creepy motels
• fog, high altitudes and curvy roads don’t mix
• 45 mph is far too slow
• and by the way, my little rice cooker can do 105…heh
• brights only is not a good way to drive if you don’t want people to hate you
• finally, I have now seen a two year old child eat a half rack of ribs, two chicken wings and a few “Git’er Donions” (don’t ask)

It was grand. Let’s not do it again.