Resolutions are tough for me. As my mother will tell you, I don’t respond well to authority (which is totally untrue, just because authority doesn’t like my response doesn’t mean it isn’t well done) and resolutions smack of authority to me, even if I am the one in charge of them. I have had to find a way to make them more…Ren-friendly, as it were.
I could just say,
Resolutions for 2007:
Set up etsy store.
Blah, blah, blah.
But that never works. We all make the same generic resolutions and most of us give up pretty quickly.
My dad always says that you should make resolutions that you know you can keep and last year I resolved to “eat more chocolate (the dark kind is good for you!), read more books and have more fun…oh, and drink more gin.” But, even though those seem like easy goals, I got pissy with my own authority and copped out. I suck.
Fine, now I need to find a way to make my resolutions more appealing. Instead of telling myself to lose weight and exercise, I resolve to:
BE MORE BAD-ASS.
This shouldn’t be so hard. Turns out, I am not bad ass at all. I was informed of this fact by Schwee and Jodi while shopping at the Bizarre Bazaar. I was having difficulty choosing between a purse embroidered with either a kitty playing the flute or with a kitty rocking out on the drums. When I hesitated, Schwee and Jodi took the opportunity to inform me that I was far more “kitty playing the flute” than “kitty rocking the drums”. And then they laughed at me for being surprised that I am not bad-ass at all.
In truth I am not surprised. I am cupcakes with pink icing, Hello Kitty and soymilk when what I really want to be is raw steaks, Lemmy from Motorhead and whisky, neat. So that’s something to work on this year. Become more bad-ass. And even a little is more than none, right? And if being bad-ass means building muscles that I didn’t have before, then so be it! If being bad-ass requires me to work my core or meditate into a zen-like state of dangerously threatening calm, then I shall.
I shall also resolve to:
DRAW THE THINGS THAT NO ONE ELSE DRAWS.
I’ve got a head start on this one. I haven’t seen anyone else drawing happy bunnies dreaming of meat, bad attitude lollipops or koalas with handguns. But I need to do more. And I have things planned. Oh, do I have things planned. The two little illustrated books that I didn’t finish last year top the list. It will be a challenge, but someone has to draw ducklings wearing mittens and turtles gone horribly wrong and why shouldn’t that someone be me?
And hey, if I am going to do all that drawing then I guess I should also resolve to:
SELL MY WARES WITHOUT BEING SO SELF-AWARE.
It was a much bigger thing for me to sell stuff at comic-con last year than anyone seemed to realize. But I did it. And the world didn’t end. And the mean girls didn’t come out to mock my stuff and the sun didn’t go black and the milk didn’t spoil. So what’s the big deal? I did it. And I intend to do it again, and more often. So there.
Hmmm, what’s next? “Eat Healthier”? Easy peasy, people. I resolve to:
EAT MORE DARK CHOCOLATE, DRINK MORE RED WINE AND TO NOT EAT THINGS I DON’T REALLY WANT TO EAT.
Dark chocolate? Hey, a little every day is good for you. And if you spend the money on the good stuff, a little will go a long way. And wine? Do you know that I have probably only had 3 or 4 bottles of wine over the course of the past year? That’s just…wrong. And what about those things I don’t really want to eat? Like that hamburger that was the only thing available at that moment? Well, I can just go somewhere else and get a salad sandwich, can’t I? Or those fries that came with the combo that I just wasn’t in the mood for? Well, you’d eat them wouldn’t you? You can have them. (OK, let’s be a little realistic here…I have never NOT been in the mood for fries. But you know what I am saying, right?). And if I want fruit, I shall have fruit. And if I wake up craving soymilk, then off to the store to get some soymilk. This stuff is easy. And if I throw my cares to the wind and go about doing it just how I want to do it, then in the end, I should actually come out with a decent meal.
So there you go. Resolutions for 2007. Done. Oh and hey, let’s add, take more naps and drink more gin and whisky to the list. Because sometimes it’s just necessary.