...well, it would be a pretty depressing state. Oh...wait...
Jules seemed to express some concern that I wasn’t writing enough. Since she and Jodi-odi-odi are the only people who actually read this blog I am trying to deliver on more entries. I cannot promise quality, only slightly more quantity.
I was thinking about ex-boyfriends today, in a general sense. I don’t have much to say about them but if I did I realized that I would have to give them aliases…
“Slightly Gay First Boyfriend With Too Many Teeth Who Was Such A Bad French Kisser That I Decided French Kissing Was Gross” seems a little too long. Perhaps he could just be called…”Toothy”?
or what about…
“Totally Gay Boyfriend Who Decided To Come Out At A Friends Wedding”? How do I shorten that one?
Then there is…
“Pompous Ex-Boy Friend Who Was Defensive About Not Going To College And So Tried To Make Up For It By Being Snobby”
and…
“Bad Ass. Leather-Wearing Ex-Boyfriend Who Wasn’t A Bad Ass At And And Was Really A Pretty Nice Guy Who Actually Played The Trombone”
Later there would be…
“Nice But Slightly Overbearing Ex-Boyfriend Who Constantly Compared Me To His Far Hotter Ex-Girlfriend And Who's Mother Didn’t Like Me At All”
and then
“Lovely Ex-Boyfriend Who Had And Ex-Girlfriend Who Had His Baby But Was Dealing With That And Was Pretty Ok Until He Started Taking Me For Granted and I Did the Same to Him”
Oh and one of my personal favorites…
“Only Dated Briefly Ex-Boyfriend Who Was Smart Enough That When He Didn’t Understand Something I Said Would Respond With “Now Say It Again And Pretend I’m Stupid”…I always appreciated that.
1 comment:
No pressure from me to write more! I only pressure myself. Ugh. I do have a TGEB (Totally Gay Ex-Boyfriend) too!
I do have a couple of exes in Texas since I lived there...there was the one in 8th grade with the parachute pants, who kind of looked like Bono, who told me "Right now you're straight as a branch, but when I'm finished with you, you'll be as crooked as a tree." (???) He cheated on me.
Post a Comment