In response to me stating my swoonyness over Wolverine, Mr. Palmer suggested that it might actually be Hugh Jackman I was swoony for (but pointed out a beautiful Wolverine costume to see anyway). Here’s the sad thing, while Hugh Jackman is certainly swoon worthy, he is, after all, just a man. A real man of flesh and blood who has an actual life, a wife, and you know, all the crap that goes with it.
Wolverine now, he’s IMAGINARY. And if I want to believe I can change him, no one can tell me I can’t (or if they do, I don’t have to listen…why? BECAUSE HE IS NOT REAL!) And dude, he’s got claws and they are made of adamantium (which sounds like Adam Ant-ium, which is even cooler) or sometimes bone but yeah…NOT REAL. Can’t scratch me with those claws “accidentally”, won’t leave the toilet seat up or eat the last Twinkie or forget my birthday (although I have to believe that Wolverine would actually do all of those things if he were real). See the key here is to always remember that the crush is fictional. And even when crushing on a real life person, make sure you know NOTHING about them, it makes it so much easier to believe that they are the person you want them to be.
Even the most literate of women has crushed on Mr. Darcy or wanted to match wits with Petruchio! But comic book crushes…well…that’s another story. So, considering that I have thought all this now, here follows a list of comic book characters that I may or may not have had crushes on over the years. Oh, please, like you haven’t!
Richie Rich-Oh come on! He’s really rich, and I was seven. What more does a seven year old girl want than a man who has a sundae bar, a helicopter and his own dog?
Batman-- He IS the Batman, you know.
Hellboy- Oh how I love him. Both the movie and the comic book version. Hellboy, be mine!
Jeff Smax- Maybe I just want to be Karen Smax, because I do you know, and hard too!
Spider Jersusalem-- Oh he’s a horrible (fictional) person but ya gotta love him (if you even read comics, that is).
Bigby Wolf-Who is pretty much like Wolverine light, I think.
And of course, Wolverine.
(I was going to find pictures to link to all these but I decided that it was just too geeky and over the top. You know what I like I’m sure you can figure it all out or google it yourself.)
And yes, yes, FICTIONAL, I know. That is the whole point here. You show me a boy comic geek that hasn’t had a crush on Powergirl or Wonder Woman or Black Cat and I will show you a very bad comic geek.
Two points of San Diego Comic Con interest here. I am (and have been) working on a little book about this very subject, illustrating all my comic book crushes throughout the years. IF we ever get approved for our table you can look for it at the Tired Girl Collective booth in the small press area.
Also, remember a few years ago when the hip teenage girls were all wearing t-shirts that said things like “Mrs. Kutchner” and “Mrs. Pitt”? Schwee and I discusses how badly we wanted out own geek versions of these shirts, I was yeaning for a “Mrs. Wayne” or a “Mrs. Kirk” shirt and she longs to have one that reads “Mrs. Spock.” If that ain’t nerdy, I don’t know what is!