Good Mama, bad things.

My mom does this thing. And I feel ok talking about it here because a) my mom does not have the internets b) my mom does not know what a blog is and c) my mom will tell you that she does this thing and then laugh about it. Even though it drives me MAD! And she keeps doing it. It may well be the ONLY reason that I am glad not to live near my parents anymore. I love them. I really, really love my parents, and besides that, I LIKE them too. They are smart, funny, people. But this thing, I don’t miss AT ALL! And I don’t think she ever does it to my brothers. Although I am pretty sure she does it to my dad, and I know she has done it to my friends on more than one occasion.

This sounds really bad, doesn’t it? It sounds like my mom does something totally deviant or sick to me when I visit her. It sounds like she must be crazy or unstable the way I talk about it. She’s not. It’s just this thing and I don’t even know how I got to thinking about it today. It just came to mind and all the sudden I found myself gritting my teeth and swearing that I would not let her do it to me ever again. And that makes it sound even worse.

My mom, the wonderful woman that she is, the kind, loving, brilliant, generous woman that she is, can make me flinch, quiver and run in hide with one little sentence. All she has to say is…”Come squint with me.”

This means I must go into the living room, or the dining room, or the “east wing” or whatever room she is contemplating doing something to and stare (with my eyes squinted, of course) at a swatch of fabric on the couch, or six carpet squares of identical color on the floor or a paint chip taped to the wall. We squint for a while and then she will say, “What do you think?” It’s really not meant to be a trick question, but it always feels like one. “What…do…I…think? Of green carpet? You already have a green carpet, Mom.” I always tell her that no matter what I say, she will do the opposite, because, inevitably, she will. But she demands my opinion.

I will make a choice between Navajo white, eggshell, pale taupe, Yankee flesh, fresh cream with just a touch of vanilla, soft albino bunny white and delicate snowdrop petal and no matter what I tell her…she will pick…something else.

I talked to my mom the other day. She told me that she had replaced the chair in the living room, you know, the one that your cat chewed on when she was little? And all I could think of was “Someone else finally had to squint with her! Thank god!”

Bad Mama

I had a bad dream this morning. It wasn’t scary in the typical sense but it sure was unnerving and creepy. And I know from whence it stems…or something, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy.

In my dream, I woke up this morning and realized that I hadn’t seen my baby in a few days and I wondered if he must be hungry (In real life, I was asleep and I do not have a baby). I walked out into the living room to see a lovely baby boy crawling out from behind the loveseat. I sat on the floor and picked him up and thought in passing that I should get a cool cloth to wash his sweaty, sticky face and perhaps I should change his diaper. I scratched his back and ruffled his hair and although he did not seem any worse for being ignored for several days and living behind the love seat, I woke up (in real life) horrified.

Yeah, not having any babies any time soon. Yeesh.

Actually, I suspect the dream is related to the fact that my cat (who is neither a baby nor a boy) is suffering the side effects of her asthma medication, which makes her behave like a gothy little teenager and hide behind the couch. When she does come out she is surly and gloomy so we have been showering her with extra love (which like, totally embarrasses her! Can’t we see she just wants to be LEFT ALONE in her room with, like, the radio on? And why can’t she pierce her nose? Everyone else is doing it…jeez.). I suspect seeing her emerge from beneath the couch last night (when she won’t come out, I like to beat on the cushions and yell, “TURN DOWN THE CURE AND STOP SULKING OR YOU ARE GROUNDED!”) and feeling bad for her discomfort and worrying that I wasn’t paying enough attention to her triggered the dream. Well, either that or it is my realization that I could make a very bad mother.

GENIUS!

This? This is pretty much genius as far as i am concerned.
(click on "collection" if you can't figure out why)

Oh we had adventures!

May is an interesting month for me. Well, it’s a month, I don’t actually know how interesting it is but I did make two life-changing decisions in Mays. Not this May, other Mays. So in May I can, but don’t really, celebrate the anniversary of my move to Los Angeles. And I can, but only sort of, celebrate my wedding anniversary. The two are, of course, interconnected. I did move to Los Angeles 9 years ago in order to live with my fiancée, otherwise I would be…somewhere else. And we did get married one year later, but we did that in New Jersey, so although it is a life changing event, I’m not going to write about it because he has no way to defend himself.

So, when I decided to move to L.A. I packed my stuff; hired movers to put it in a truck and haul it cross-country. Then I packed some more stuff, crammed that and my best friend in my little Escort and we set off. This is pretty much what I remember. We drove to my parent’s house so I could say good-bye to them, we drove to her family’s house so we could say good-bye to them and then we went to Burger King. I seem to remember having chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs. As we stood in the Burger King waiting for our order so we could get back in the car for a life-changing journey, the grill caught on fire. The decidedly non-Hispanic girl at the counter saw the flames and said very casually, over her shoulder, to the decidedly non-Hispanic fry guys, “Fuego. Fuego.” No one seemed to take notice of her not-very-alarming alarm and I figured that hey, this is Burger King, they must have grease fires all the time. But, a few minutes later, when the fry boys noticed the flames shooting up the wall, they freaked out and…well, they put the fire out. I don’t actually remember how. Then one of them yelled at the counter girl, “Why didn’t you say there was a fire?” and in her most disgusted, most New Jersey high-school-girl-with-an-attitude (and believe you me, New Jersey high school girls can give you some wicked attitude) voice, she said “Uh, DUH! I said FUEGO! That’s like Spanish for FIRE.”

This was the auspicious beginning to my life-changing journey.

The trip itself turned out to be a lot of fun. We scheduled our time so we could take little tangents off the route and see things like…oh, Tampico Illinois, birthplace of Ronald Reagan. Neither of us are fans of Ronald Reagan, we just thought it would be fun to see. We were pretty much wrong. Do not blink as you drive through Tampico. You will miss it. We also saw some iron crosses in the middle of a cornfield, the starting point of the Pony Express, a giant teepee that housed a restroom which precipitated many “pee-pee in the tee-pee” jokes and the giant freaking dinosaurs outside of Palm Springs that caused me to pretty much wreck my car (but the damage would not become evident for almost a month at which time my car would simply stop and then would cost me $500 to fix…stupid dinosaur).

Oh we had adventures, but since I don’t have very many now, I suppose I should save some for another time. Or not. I guess they aren’t all that interesting if you are not me. Oh well.

Happy Anniversay to me anyway.

Make with the clicky.

Handy things I have learned on the internets:

How to eat a cupcake with out making as big a mess of myself as I normally would if I did not eat a cupcake this way (Jodi already mentioned by newly aquired cupcake skills but I thought it was worth reiterating).

How to stir chocolate syrup into my soymilk (or what have you) in a manner which makes it blend better and leave none at the bottom of the glass.

How to peel a banana like a monkey.

How to stop a baby crying…ok, I don’t have a baby to stop from crying but this annoys the hell out of my cat.

Then there is an interview with the author of a book which I find intriguing…but I will wait for paperback.

And a nifty website from my cousin (click on the vending machine on the left unless you speak Danish. Otherwise you will be all confused.)

I never really know if it’s a blessing or a curse.

Today at work we had a lengthy (read as “almost all day") conversation on what actually makes a human. A deeply philosophic conversation all about semantics and science. A lengthy conversation that really isn’t over yet. How did it start? Oh, I just said something about Dr. Who not being human and then someone said, “Well, what makes him not human?” so I said “Well, he comes from another planet”
“But you can be human and come from another planet”
“He has two hearts?”
“OK, that’s not human. But just being from another planet…Superman is human.”
This led to researching the word “human” (the most recurring and basic definition being something like “Bipedal primate mammal”) and much debate over whether Martian Manhunter is “human” or “humanoid” or neither.

Of course we all agree that mutants are humans either way. We’re very progressive.

In the end we all disagreed and Mark Waid may or may not have been called for a ruling.

Is that dorky?


Linky goodness

If you are in L.A. this weekend, you may want to check out Felt Club. I hope to stop by there but if not this time, perhaps next month.

And here yet another stupid poetry stunt that makes me unreasonably happy.

If you’ve been watching Doctor Who then you might find this little article interesting It’s all about Captain Jack and it mentions Torchwood, the proposed spin-off that appears to be very much in the making. I have now seen three episodes with the new doctor and I think all three have mentioned it in some way.

This might be handy if you are like me and you spend waaaay too much money on books.

Finally, in case you think you had a bad mother or you ARE a bad mother…nature says it could be worse.

June Gloom

Right now in L.A. we are having gloomy weather. This happens every spring, it’s got something to do with the marine layer. It is so regular that we even have a name for it. It’s called the June Gloom (yes, yes, I know it's only May but the June Gloom cares not for such things!) and it is decidedly gloomy. Today as I was driving to work, the bleak sky reminded me of my favorite weatherman ever. Well…I always imagined he was a man…

When I shared an apartment in New Jersey with my BFF, we had alternate schedules. I worked from 8 am to 4 pm and she worked from 4 pm to midnight. (This was a condition of our living together since we also worked for the same company and we didn’t want to end up killing one another). But we still liked to spend time together, so I would take a bit of a nap when I came home from work and then I would hang out with her for an hour or two when she came home. It was during those times that we discovered the most emo weatherman ever.

Every night I would turn on the local cable channel before she came home. It was usually around 12 am. After a few days I started to notice something interesting. The weather reports all had a decidedly gothic slant to them. “Dark and menacing clouds with a chance of all-consuming rain” or “Painfully bright sun only relieved by the embrace of sunset and the lingering gloom of evening clouds”…it was good stuff. I think I fell a little bit in love with the weatherman. I suppose it could have been a weatherwoman but I always thought of some college-age dude with black eyeliner and a too-big black turtleneck sweater, sitting alone in the cable offices, listening to Bauhaus and wishing he looked more like Robert Smith. It went on like this for most of the year. Quirky, funny and dark weather reports, but only late at night. Surely it was some intern just trying to keep awake during the long hours. Every once in a while there would be a really good one “Night followed by a 85% chance of early morning” kind of stuff. And then, one day…nothing. No more goth, no more humor. Just plain old weather. I still turned on the local channel, searching in vain for my poor, sad little forecaster, but he (possibly she) was gone. Maybe he fell in love and suddenly everything was bright and sunny, or maybe the internship was over. I don’t know, but I really missed my goth weather report.

This morning I couldn’t help but think how much he (or possibly she) would enjoy the June gloom.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

I linked to Inky Circus (Life in the Girl Nerd World) in the sidebar but I feel the need to link to this article specifically...
Dolphins have names!

It made me smile.

Love Letter

Dear Richard Butler,

How are you? I am fine.

Let me get this part of the letter out of the way…I am sorry. I am sorry about that time several years back when I yelled at you…loudly…right before you went on stage. In my defense, I didn’t recognize you but that really doesn’t matter since you ran right into me as if I wasn’t even there. Yes, yes, I used some strong language, yes, I told you exactly where you could go and where you could cram it once you got there and I am sorry for that. I shouldn’t have gotten all up in your grill.

What I am not sorry about is buying your new album. Gee, Mr. Butler, you really are swell. I loved you when you sang for the Psychedelic Furs, and I loved you when you sang with LoveSpitLove and I love you now. Your voice has been a favorite of mine for years and I can only liken it to curling up in my woobiest jammies with a hot cup of tea. It’s welcoming and soothing and to me, very beautiful. I know some people will disagree. It does have a certain…quality to it. But I love that about it. I love how it is rough and sleepy and how you sing with an accent when so many people lose theirs in song. Not you. Oh no, not you.

I was kind of afraid to buy the album without hearing anything from it first but I knew I would buy it even if it wasn’t good. Not like that Kip Winger album. I only bought that because I felt sorry for him after that “Where are they now?” show and I found out that the guy I had been mocking for so long had been having a really rough life. That was totally a pity purchase (but he did send me a bunch of autographed photos…hint hint). Your CD was totally not a pity purchase and you absolutely made it worth my pennies.

OK, to be honest, not every song is great, but it’s all very listenable. And that first song, man that one gets me. Everyone else can have their Morrissey (sounds like Kermit); they can keep their Prince (never liked him all that much anyway). I’ll always pick you for my dodge ball team.

Look, here’s the deal, Mr. Butler, I promise never to yell at you again if you promise to make more music. OK? Thanks.

Yours Always,
ren


Dear Anyone else,

I really like this album. It’s good.



Love,
Ren

p.s. justJENN caught up on her letter writing today too. Sorry about the thematic overlap.

Falafel?

Actually, I am starting to feel better.

Please remind me not to eat falafel anymore. I think I say that every time I have them but then I forget. It is very important that I don’t ever forget again.

Trust me.

Well, I was on vacation for the past few days and it was goooood. A hot pink cowgirl hat bearing the legend “Pirate Princess” may or may not have been purchased, I ain’t sayin’ one way or another. But a grand time was had by all.

And quickly here because I have so much other stuff to catch up on…

I would just like to assuage the fears of anyone who may think that there can be no better doctor than Christopher Eccleston…ok, maybe there can’t. I don’t know. But we all have our favorite doctor. I bucked the trend years ago and declared Peter Davison my favorite. In some ways he was actually the most boring doctor ever, but he also played Tristan on All Creatures Great and Small and that was enough to win me over. I know Jules was always a fan of Tom Baker and I think he is the doctor that most Americans think of when you mention "Dr. Who", but there were so many others. And that’s the thing about the doctor; you can’t really get too attached. He’s gonna change eventually, that’s just the way it works. Well, at least he will change 12 times, and then the writers need to find a way to explain it all away.

Anyway the point of this is just to say (mostly to you, Brenda), the new Doctor, he is good. I loved the casting of Christopher Eccleston probably as much as anyone. I have drunkenly recounted the night I first heard that he had been signed (while at Comic-Con) and how I got drunk (OK, so talk about Dr. Who a lot when I get drunk, so what?) and discussed the merits of Eccleston as the good Doctor with anyone who would listen, many times. And I was surprised that I was not sad when it was announced that he would not be returning to the role that he had…"given new life" doesn’t begin to do justice but I can’t think of any other way to put it at the moment. I realized that I was actually OK with the idea of new Doctor because Eccleston had blown it out of the water and I would rather him go out on top then play the role for ten years and let it just become sad. I looked up David Tennant and realized that I had actually seen him in a number of things that I had really enjoyed, and that he was a good enough actor that I couldn’t picture him just as David Tennant. I could remember the characters he had played but not really the man underneath. And I liked that.

Now I have seen him as the Doctor and I am well pleased. Believe me, I loved the ninth doctor more than any previous doctor, but I am not sad to have a tenth. He’s good. Trust me. He’s different but familiar. Eccleston made the character his own by the sudden turns from goofy to steely eyed that left me reeling. Tennant is…different, cute, floppy, boyish even, but I think that in his first episode he showed some of the same steel that has given an old character new life. I didn’t steer you wrong when I recommended the show, did I? Trust me on this one. You may not love him as much, but I think you will at least like him.

P.S. If you’d like a primer on David Tennant, keep an eye out for Viva Blackpool, Bright Young Things, and the BBC version of Cassanova (written by Russell T. Davies, current producer and writer on "Dr. Who") and if you still need your Christopher Eccleston fix, check out The Second Coming(also by Davies), Shallow Grave and the early episodes of the original “Cracker” with Robbie Coltrane. I don’t want to spoil anything but I did cry when I saw Eccleston’s last episode of this one. It’s absolutely brutal (and it also features more Brit boys that I love (Robert Carlyle and Robbie Coltrane).

Damn, that wasn’t quick at all!

Widgety

I am bored so here are the widgets that are entertaining me today, as seen on my desktop.

...And here is the Who who is hiding under all those widgets on my desktop...

My Boyfriend's Back!(hey-la, hey-la...my boyfriend's back!)

Bruce is back! Bruce is back! And I didn’t even know it until it was on.

I have documented my love for Bruce Parry before. And I really didn’t think there would be a second season of Going Tribal. But there is! And I am so happy that I keep starting sentences with “but” or “and” even though it is terribly incorrect to do so!

I don’t care much for reality TV. Look, I don’t care if YOU watch it but man, I hate seeing the worst in people put on full public display like that. It all just makes me cringe. But Bruce Parry…he is cute and cool and brave and I love him so! He spends time with fairly remote tribes, in this particular instance, a tribe in Ethiopia that is enemy to a tribe that he visited with in the previous series. It amazes me how willing he is to adapt to another culture, food, clothing, shelter and all and how he just DOES it. He’s honest, he described eating a blood clot (yeah, they drink cow’s blood and eat the clots over there…mmmm) as being similar to what it must be like to eat the stuff from the bottom of the tub, but he did eat it and it did garner him the respect he needed to work within the tribe. When I think of the fact that I won’t even eat a green pepper…man, that’s some kind of courage he’s got. He’s very engaging and open with the people he meets and it’s not at all…showboaty. He comes across as a very genuine person. I hope he is but if he’s not, he plays it way.

In any case, I still love him and I still recommend his show.

Written on Monday, Posted on Wednesday(That's how tired I was)

Whew! Man am I tired. I did a lot this weekend and I am nowhere near done. Company coming on Thursday and there is STILL cleaning to be done. But this weekend was all about baking, some for me, some for others. Let’s see: on Saturday night there was corn bread and brownies to go with the catfish (and salad too, but that’s just rinsing). And then there were two kinds of scones (whole wheat with currants and almonds and sour cherry) and two loaves of challah bread for the parents for mother’s day/birthday gifts. I figure they already have everything they need but everyone can always use a little breakfast. And then there was reduced fat brioche for me for breakfast. It’s good but you can tell that it’s reduced fat. I just wasn’t prepared to put TWELVE TABLESPOONS of butter in anything. Man, that is A LOT of butter!

Making bread is one of those weird things that you just have to learn by doing. Most recipes tell you to “knead until it feels like an earlobe” (I’m not kidding, that’s actually how they describe it). So I end up standing there, feeling the bread with one hand and my ear with the other saying “well…I GUESS it feels the same.” But, once you actually hit that texture, you know it forever. I didn’t know it the first few times I made bread but one day I just kept kneading and BAM! the dough suddenly felt like…an earlobe. It’s kind of gross but now I know why the cookbooks describe it that way.

I really like making the breads but I swear that twenty minutes of kneading (two different loaves at 10 minutes each) is equal to a pretty serious upperbody workout. I’m gonna look like Popeye if I keep making the bread.

You know your day is not going to be wonderful when you find a note on your desk using the word “cockamamie” in reference to something you will have to take care of. Sigh.

But aside from that…

As National Poetry Month draws to a close, I am realizing that it actually did have an effect on me this time. I did read more poetry (although I do read a fair amount) and I sought out new poets and new styles and…ohmygosh! I enjoyed it. I also thought about poetry more than usual. It’s not really something I think about generally at all but every year when NPM (oooh…an abbreviation! It must be important!) rolls around, the newspapers start saying the same old things, “is poetry important?” and “does any body really care?” After much thought, I have decided yes! I CARE! But I am still not sure how important it is.

Poetry still has the power to move people, but only when people read it. There are still poems that start discussion, start arguments and start trouble, but if you aren’t reading poetry, then how would you know? And much like every other bit of writing, well, there’s a lot of stuff out there. And that is both good and bad. I mean hey, there is a lot of stuff out there….but on the other hand, that means there is a lot of stuff to wade through before you find something that you like. Or maybe even find something you hate enough to give you that visceral response.

I’m no scientist but I have heard that doing crossword puzzles or soduku can help to keep your brain healthy and happy. (My mom does a crossword puzzle everyday to help protect herself from Alzheimer’s.) I’d like to suggest that poetry can do the same thing. Your brain has to work differently when you read or write poetry. If you want to rhyme, you are gonna need to stretch that mind (because they do say that nothing rhymes with orange). And if you want to write a haiku, or a sonnet, well, there are rules and those rules take some concentration, some math skills and some work. I’m willing to bet that poetry can work both sides of the brain. In fact, I think someone should fund a study on that!

Now go read a damn poem.

Potty Humor

It’s nice to know that I work in a place where burtsing into the women’s bathrroom and saying “I had bean soup for lunch! FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK WE SALUTE YOU!” is not frowned upon.

Or is it?

I don’t know. Either way. It’s fun to torment people.

Current 10 "Most Played" (by me) songs onmy iTunes thing...

Dogs Of Lust-The The
You Shook Me All Night Long-Arab Strap
All For You-Anna Waronker
O My Soul -Big Star
Buckie High-Boards of Canada
Premiere Opera Podcast presents Robert Merrill-Ed Rosen
Gone Daddy Gone (violent femmes cover) -Gnarls Barkley
hey little buttercup- The Happies
Wine, Women, and Song-Harvey Danger
Axegrinder-Hoodoo Gurus

I just can't stop playing The The!

Lots of questions but no muffins!

This is a muffinless week. We spent the weekend cleaning out our spare room, sorting the junk and putting the non-junk or slightly less junky stuff into storage. There was much hauling, lifting, packing and sneezing done (apparently, we also haven’t dusted in the spare room in quite a while). By the end of the last night, I could barely drag myself to bed, much less make any sort of muffins, vegan or otherwise. It’s cereal this week. And then maybe back to the muffins next week.

Here is a lengthy questionnaire that I was emailed. My answers are not that interesting but I’m tired.

1. First name:
You can call me Ren.

2. Were you named after anyone?
No, but I was ALMOST named Barbara dean, after my aunt and grandfather. And it is my understanding that my grandmother was pulling hard for Theodora, after my father. I think I got lucky.

3. Do you wish on stars?
Sometimes, if I see a shooting star.

4. When did you last cry?
What time is it now? Actually, I don’t remember the very last time I cried but we did watch Finding Neverland a few weeks ago and it left me a sobbing mess. I mean, you know when Kate Winslet is in a movie that’s she’s pretty much DOOMED! But this one just got me at the right time. And I don’t usually cry over movies either. Damn, I’m getting soft in my old age!

5. Do you like your handwriting?
Sure, I guess. It’s mine. I don’t know how to do it any other way. But I did get in trouble in grade school for mixing the printing with the cursive. I got points taken off for every letter of printing I let slip in. That’s just mean.

6. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Um…You know, I wish I had some sort of witty quip for this one but…yeah. I’m not a big lunch meat eater.

7. What is your birthday?
November 9 (send presents!).

8. What is your most embarrassing CD?
Personally, I am not embarrassed by any of my cd’s, but someone else might be embarrassed by the Spice Girls, or the Sebastian Bach cd (it’s not very good though). Not embarrassed by Supertramp or the soundtrack to Josie and the Pussycats either (dude, that one is awesome, you should listen to it).

9. Would YOU be friends with yourself?
I’m not sure. I’d like to say yes but then part of me says “You’re kidding, right? You’d never want to hang out with yourself!”

10. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?
Probably but I ain’t sayin’ yes and I ain’t sayin’ no.

11. Do looks matter?
Sadly, yes. But I do think that beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder. So as long as someone who likes your looks is beholding you…well then you are all set!

12. How do you release anger?
Fume.

13. Where is your second home?
Los Angeles.

14. Do you trust others too easily?
I don’t know that I actually “trust” but I am always willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

15. What was your favorite toy as a child?
I liked my bike a lot.

16. What class in high school do you think was totally useless?
Trig/Pre-Cal. It was a foolish idea to even take that class. I guess it’s useful for some people but I knew that I would never have a job in a field that would make it necessary and yet I took it on the advice of some stupid guidance councilor because it “would look good on a college application.” Let me just tell you that an F never looks good on a college application.

17. Do you have a journal?
I gots this bloggy thing. That’s about it.

18. Favorite Movies?
Persuasion, Empire Records(Hi Jodi!), Shaun of the Dead, Mallrats, Breakfast at Tiffany’s…um…there’s a lot more but I can’t think of any right now.

19. What are your (acceptable) nicknames:
Well, some people call me Ren.

20. Would you bungee jump?
Oh hey, no freakin’ way. Terrified of falling, you know.

21. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
I rarely wear shoes with laces, but when I do, no, despite all those years of working in a shoe store and telling people they will ruin their shoes if they don’t.

22. Do you think that you are strong?
No.

23. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
I think it’s more appropriate to ask which flavors I don’t like...and I can’t think of any except bubblegum. But I did have some Soy Delcious Cherry Nirvana soy cream stuff the other day and I always like it but man it was good this time!

24. What size of shoe do you wear?
7.5 or 8. Depends on the shoe.

25. What are your favorite colors?
Red, orange, black, brown.

26. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
I like me pretty well. I wish I were braver though.

27. Who do you miss most?
My grandmother.

28. Do you want everyone you send this to send it back?
Ah, I am lazy. I post instead of sending. So if you do this, please tell me. But I don’t mind if you don’t.

29. What color pants are you wearing?
Green.

30. What are you listening to right now? “CAVALLERIA RUSTICANA-missing duet & TURANDOT- Tucker/Ross- Phila. 1968” (Premiere Opera Podcast from 4/16).

31. What was the last thing you ate?
An almond Hershey’s kiss. Almonds are good for you!

32. What is the weather like right now?
Well from the skylight above me it looks lovely and sunny. Inside it’s relatively comfortable for once although my hands are a little cold.

33. Last person you talked to on the phone? James, he was letting me know that my car repairs were completed and that I was now $424 deeper in debt.

34. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I do indeed! Although I got it from two different people and I am not sure who sent it first but I like them both so there!

35. Favorite Drink?
Tea

36. Eye Color?
Brown with black spots.

37. Do you wear contacts?
No but I do wear glasses for reading and working.

38. Favorite Day of the Year?
All of them I guess.

39. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?
Doesn’t really matter if the story is well written.

40. Summer or winter?
Summer. Always Summer.

41. Hugs or kisses?
Depends on who is offering.

42. What is Your Favorite Dessert?
I have a firm belief that dessert isn’t dessert unless it has some sort of chocolate in it. That said, I’d have to say that my favorite dessert is…Sticky Toffee Pudding…which has no chocolate in it…what can I say? I am an enigma.

(There were two non-applicable questions here, I deleted them)

45. Where would you want to go on your Next Vacation?
I’d like to go see this new Beatrix Potter Attraction thing…

46. What books are you reading?
Oh, I am kind of embarrassed to admit this but I am STILL reading The Scar. I am almost done but just haven’t been reading very much lately (and I did read like three other books while I have been reading this one). But I did particulary like this line from The Scar "butterflies with unholy appetites"...heh.

47. What's on your mouse pad?
One of Raphael’s angels.

48. What did you Watch Last Night on TV?
I watched The Simpson’s before doing a little more work and then I finally collapsed on the couch and watched…Footballer’s Wives which was a trashy good time!

49. Where was the farthest you have been from home?
I guess to the UK.

Be Prepared!

I just used the phrase “icing emergency” as in “I have that jar of chocolate hazelnut spread in the fridge in case of an icing emergency.” I believe that I also recently referred to a “cupcake related emergency.” I do not actually know what exactly would qualify as an icing or cupcake related emergency but you can be damn sure that I am prepared for such a thing.

Food, Glorious Food!

There was a lot of cooking going on in my apartment over the weekend. And it was all good!

The vegan muffin for the week is mocha chocolate and it is the best so far. Jason even asked me if they were actually vegan because they don’t taste like they are. But they are.

Let’s see, there was also a very nice Easter dinner. We had butterflied leg of lamb stuffed with garlic, parsley, breadcrumbs, olives, anchovies and lemon zest. It was very nice and before you start saying “Oh ew! Olives and anchovies”…you wouldn’t even know they were in there. It mostly just added some salt to the mix. But that portion of the meal was decidedly un-vegan. There was also steamed asparagus, boiled new potatoes with olive oil, fresh challah bread, deviled eggs and for dessert, cupcakes!

The cupcakes and their icing were actually from boxes. I picked them up at Trader Joe’s and wanted to give them a try. I am generally not a box mix kind of girl. I have no real problem with mixes but since I can cook and I do like to cook, it’s just as easy for me to make some things from scratch. That said, my favorite kind of cupcake is still dark chocolate from a box with white icing from a can. Anyway, if you don’t like to cook or want to keep some box mixes on hand for cupcake emergencies, I highly recommend this vanilla cake mix from Trader Joe’s. I think it’s very good and I like that you can see actual specks of vanilla bean in the mix. At least…I HOPE that was vanilla bean. The Decadent Chocolate frosting was not to my tastes, but I am not much of an icing person. It did taste less chemical-ly than most ready made frostings though, so if you don’t like that straight out of the can taste, you might want to give it a try. If you don’t have a Trader Joe’s near you…well…call me, I’ll send you some (don’t call, I won’t send it. I’m just being nice).

Now that's kind of interesting...

“From the Top 25 Most Played” list

Dogs Of Lust -The The (play count) 6
You Shook Me All Night Long-Arab Strap (play count) 3
Premiere Opera Podcast presents Robert Merrill (play count) 2
I Don't Like Mondays-The Boomtown Rats (play count) 1
Not If You Were The Last Dandy-Brian Jonestown Massacre (play count) 1
Violets-Candy Bars (play count) 1
Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth-Dandy Warhols (play count) 1
You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To-Dinah Shore (play count) 1

Um…I really like that The The song. And Dinah Shore has a pretty voice.

...Or something.

I know I am a little late in catching on but I just realized that it is Easter time! That means bags of black jellybeans at half price next week! WOO-HOO!

Also, I was reminded by Jules this morning that I left out two of my favorite words to say: smelt and Sununu. I am also inordinately fond of saying Bevelacqua and once renamed my cat Bevelacqua, which really doesn’t matter since cats don’t answer when you call anyway.

Finally, a little more poetry. Jodi loves to write the haiku. So here are half a dozen haiku by the second most famous (just behind Jodi) haiku writer ever…Basho. Actually, Basho is the ONLY other haiku writer I know, so we will have to just assume he’s the second most famous.

How reluctantly
the bee emerges from the deep
within the peony

Seen in plain daylight
the firefly's nothing but
an insect

Exhausted, I sought
a country inn, but found
wisteria in bloom

Winter showers,
even the monkey searches
for a raincoat

From all these trees –
in salads, soups, everywhere –
cherry blossoms fall

I would like to use
that scarecrow's tattered clothes
in this midnight frost

And here is why I picked these six in particular. I like bees, I like fireflies, I think wisteria smells good and it attracts bees, everyone likes a monkey but a monkey in a raincoat is pure gold, I think the idea of cherry blossom soup is charming and…I just like that last one a lot.
Haiku is good stuff. And people who are good at it, like Jodi and Basho make is seem easy but it really isn’t. It’s bite size poetry bursting with flavor. Or something.

Words I like to say, just because they are fun:
1. Randy (either as a name or an adjective, I just like saying it).
2. coffee (usually pronounced kaaw-fee)
3. banana (randomly spoken for absolutely no reason whatsoever)

Words my mother likes to say:
1. corduroy
2. Evander Holyfield

Random quotes that run through my head on a regular basis:
1. "Look at all the pretty pumpykins!"
2. "Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips."

Vegan muffins I made this past weekend:
Blueberry lemon corn muffins

Vegan muffins I intend to make this coming weekend:
Coffee chocolate chip

What I am listening to right now:
Opera podcast of Marilyn Horne

Poems I have read today:
1. "Song" by John Donne
2. "Three Things there Be" by Sir Walter Raleigh
3. "Hamlet" by John Koethe

Things I found while cleaning out a closet this week:
One unused, still sealed in the package Battenberg lace apron
A program for the Orson Welles version of Othello
Random prom pictures of people who are not me
Outdated Slick Tips for Quark Xpress book
One questionable granola bar

What I had for lunch today:
Refried beans and cheese toasted on a whole wheat tortilla and topped with baby romaine lettuce, a tomato and some lemon juice. It was pretty good.

Shakespearian names I have contemplated for children that I won’t have that would make people dislike me more than Gwenyth Paltrow:
Hero
Beatrice
Iago
Mercutio
Romeo

Random things I have looked at online today:
Canned whole chicken
White topaz jewelry
Nicholas Farrell
The lyrics to “Rapper’s Delight”
Alison Jackson photos

What I am doing right now:
Avoiding work.

OH MY GOD! WON'T SHE EVER STOP WITH THE POETRY?

This is just to say
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

-William Carlos Williams

So here is yet another of my favorite poems (hey, just wait until I decide to talk about Howl!) This one is unusual. A lot of people have spent a lot of time pouring over it and analyzing it but in the end, I think what it really is a very nice image. You can just see the plums in the fridge. I always think they are in a bowl and there is very little else in there with them. But that’s what this poem does; it gives you a very strong visual image that the reader can embellish in his or her own mind. And that is more difficult than you may imagine.

One of the other things I like about this poem is the simplicity. Although it is not actually a haiku, it certainly evokes the idea of a haiku. It is simple, natural and it brings to mind a specific season (although the season itself is never mentioned, I feel like the fact that there are plums and they are being kept in the icebox suggests summer).

Finally, I like how this poem is a little bit of a love poem. Only on the fringes. The writer has done something that may well be selfish, we don’t actually know, but at the same time has left a note of apology for what is suggested to be a very sensual indulgence. I think that this poem suggests even more than it actually says. That is what makes it such a good one for me, it’s minimalist to the point where it is almost absurd and yet somehow I end up with and awful lot of clear images and ideas. William Carlos Williams makes it look so easy (but it’s not!).

James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree

Since I posted a poem yesterday and then Jodi was kind enough to share her poetry (in French no less! She is faaaancy!), I thought I would continue a bit on the subject.

Here’s the thing. I find a lot of people seem to be afraid of poetry. And it can be tough going sometimes but I do think that it’s worth the work. It’s great exercise for your brain too. Poetry makes us think differently. MOST (and of course there are exceptions but really, let’s not get picky here) poetry is nothing like our common language. Even when it’s not “old” you still have to contend with things like rhyming and meter and whatever. But in the end, all it really boils down to is..do you like it?

This is another of my favorite poems. And if you have kids and you aren’t reading them A.A. Milne…well…just do it. It’s good stuff. And you might be surprised at how funny it is, even to adults.

Anyway here is one of the few poems that I can actually recite part of (the other two being the first few lines of The Village Blacksmith and How Doth the Little Crocodile):


Disobedience
By Alan Alexander Milne

James James
Morrison Morrison
Weatherby George Dupree
Took great
Care of his Mother,
Though he was only three.
James James Said to his Mother,
"Mother," he said, said he;
"You must never go down
to the end of the town,
if you don't go down with me."

James James
Morrison's Mother
Put on a golden gown.
James James Morrison's Mother
Drove to the end of the town.
James James Morrison's Mother
Said to herself, said she:
"I can get right down
to the end of the town
and be back in time for tea."

King John
Put up a notice,
"LOST or STOLEN or STRAYED!
JAMES JAMES MORRISON'S MOTHER
SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN MISLAID.
LAST SEEN
WANDERING VAGUELY:
QUITE OF HER OWN ACCORD,
SHE TRIED TO GET DOWN
TO THE END OF THE TOWN -
FORTY SHILLINGS REWARD!"

James James
Morrison Morrison
(Commonly known as Jim)
Told his
Other relations
Not to go blaming him.
James James
Said to his Mother,
"Mother," he said, said he:
"You must never go down to the end of the town
without consulting me."

James James
Morrison's mother
Hasn't been heard of since.
King John said he was sorry,
So did the Queen and Prince.
King John
(Somebody told me)
Said to a man he knew:
If people go down to the end of the town, well,
what can anyone do?"

(Now then, very softly)
J.J.
M.M.
W.G.Du P.
Took great
C/0 his M*****
Though he was only 3.
J.J. said to his M*****
"M*****," he said, said he:
"You-must-never-go-down-to-the-end-of-the-town-
if-you-don't-go-down-with-ME!"

Personally, I am particularly fond of the last stanza. But the whole poem is great. I like the fact that James James Morrison Morrison is so well spoken for a three year old. And he’s not afraid either. Not afraid to make his demands clear and not afraid of whatever it is as the end of town, even though it is clear that his mother should have been.

And really, 40 shillings seems quite a lot for such a foolish mother! Golden gown indeed!

Happy Poetry Month...no, seriously.

Did you know that April is National Poetry Month? Well it is. And I like poetry. A lot. So I am sharing one of my favorite poems with you, right here and right now. And then I am a going to tell you why I like this poem. OK? OK. Here we go…


THE FLEA
by John Donne

MARK but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is;
It suck'd me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead;
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pamper'd swells with one blood made of two;
And this, alas ! is more than we would do.

O stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is.
Though parents grudge, and you, we're met,
And cloister'd in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that self-murder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.

Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it suck'd from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thou
Find'st not thyself nor me the weaker now.
'Tis true; then learn how false fears be;
Just so much honour, when thou yield'st to me,
Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.

OK, now. If you studied John Donne at all in school, you may remember him most for two key phrases, “No man in an island” and “Ask not for whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee”. That’s all well and good and he wrote a lot about religion but this poem…well…this comes from his more…libertine sort of days.

This is what is known as a seduction poem. Did you get that part? Because a lot of people see the “language” and think, “Eh, old stuff, I don’t care about this” but oh, that is such a mistake! This poem is totally about getting a chick to sleep with him. And truly, it is a better argument than any I have ever heard. What it boils down to is, “Hey baby, we’re lying here in bed and you won’t give it up” but then…OW! They are both bitten by a flea (OK, well, if you are in bed with a dude in this day and age and you get bitten by a flea, I suggest you just get out, but that’s not the point here) and he tells her that since their blood is mingled within the flea, there is no sin in going ahead and mingling it a little more, eh? What I really love about this is her response…she kills the flea. And like the typical male that he is (sorry guys) he keeps trying. I have never believed that she was convinced. But damn the man puts up a good argument.

Best poem ever! Well, one of my top ten anyway.

Coke Blak?

Yeah, it's just...strange. It's not exactly bad but it's not exactly good either. I say wait until you can buy single bottles to try it. So far I have only seen it in 4 packs.

My one word review...eh.

INTERVIEW!

I have very little of interest to write about so I decided to
interview my best friend. Why do you care? Why would you not? She’s a
neat chick!

Hi Jules, how’s your day going so far today?
Its going ok - but there is always time for things to get crazy.

Tell us all what you do…
I work for a printing company. I mainly work on ads for pharmaceutical companies (I can find an ad in any magazine I open that I worked on).
I also work on other ads - not just pharmaceuticals. Also, I design catalogs for auction houses.

How long have you been doing that?
I have been at this company for 10 years & 2 weeks. I worked with you before that as a textbook illustrator for another company. I think I was there for I think 3 or 4 years.

And what kind of things do you do for fun?
Fun... well, I like to watch TV. I find it relaxing after running around like a maniac and working on my computer all day.
I like to watch movies. I like to go out for meals with my friends. I like to shop.
It is starting to warm up here, so I'm very excited. I got a convertible last April and that makes even running errands fun. I'm looking forward to taking a drive to the shore with the top down, eating boardwalk pizza, playing skeeball, sitting on the beach and reading a book and playing chicken with the tramcars.
(Ah, the beach. The tramcars. I do miss New Jersey sometimes.)

So, we’ve known each other a long time. Do you remember how we met?
Because I really don’t. I do remember an annoying incident in Hershey
Park involving you though.
I also remember the Hershey Park incident. We had a mutual friend we were hanging out with and in our 8th grade state of mind thought it would be amusing to "talk like babies" the entire day.
I think we bonded in 9th grade in Mr. Wash's advanced science class (I noted that it was advanced because I find it amusing that we were both at one point "advanced" in science).
I believe we also bonded that year over our mutual dislike of the marching band instructor.

(OK first let me say that you weren’t talking like babies, you were playing “Doug and Wendy Whiner” and second…I don’t remember joining in on that, so I am going to say that I didn’t. Finally, I am fine with science. Its just math that gives me trouble. And Mr. Wash…he gave me books. The only teacher I ever had to encourage reading was a science teacher!)

Let’s see, what else…well, I talk about books a lot. Are you reading
anything interesting right now?
I have a few books started, but I admit I haven't picked them up in a bit. I am rather fried when I get home from work & my eyes don't want to focus on small things. I am in the middle of reading a dual biography of Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scots.
To my defense, I've gotten rather hooked (more than before) on history shows on television. I'll actually sit & watch them for hours on the weekend.

And I know you aren’t very interested in comic books. Any special
reason why not?
I think the reason is that when I read, I tend to see the action happening in my head - like my own private movie. I don't really like having it shown for me - kinda the way when they make a book into a movie, it’s never quite the same.

(I can see your point. Some times I read a whole comic and then realize I never paid attention to the art. But on the other hand, if you find an artist that you really like, I think it really enhances the story. I maintain that there is a comic book out there for everyone, you just have to find it.)

How about music? You are always on the cutting edge. What’s new that
you like? And more specifically, what’s new that you like that I
might like?
I just bought the new cd by the "yeah yeah yeahs" but I'm not sure if you will like it. I'll get back to you on that.
I sent you a cover of Hounds of Love by the Futureheads the other week. I thought you might like them.
(Yeah, that Futureheads song was ok. I would have to hear more to know if I like it or not though. Not huge on the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, but I don’t actually dislike them either.)
This is kinda cool - I've been converting my cds to mp3s to load onto my ipod. I keep pulling out stuff I haven't listened to in ages. It’s great - it’s almost like discovering stuff all over again. So, at the moment, I'm listening to all kinds of stuff.

What have you been watching on TV that’s good? And don’t say “Lost”,
I don’t like that show.
Well, I admit, I am totally hooked on Grey's Anatomy. Seriously. Sometime, my friend the Supermodel & I call each other on the commercial breaks. Seriously.
I am very psyched about Doctor Who being on. I am enjoying that very much.

(How do you like that Denny Duchette? All the writers for Grey’s Anatomy seem to be in love with him because he is “broken”. He does have a cute smile though. I personally am really fond of the Christina/Burke storyline because I can totally relate to the problems of sharing space…any kind of space).
And Dr. Who is the greatest...show...ever! Well, it's really good. And you, by the way, are the premiere expert on all things WHO. So if you like it-it must be good!

Also, I would like to recommend the show Hustle. It is on AMC on Saturday nights. It is clever & well done. I think its my fav new show of the season.
(I like Hustle too. We watched a bunch of them in a row during a marathon. Have you seen Heist? I think it’s supposed to be the American take on Hustle.)

Since you work in the printing business and hate all designers
because of it do you have any advice for those designers that you hate?
It isn't really that I hate them....
I think designers should be required to work in a print shop for a certain period of time. That way, they would get a good idea of what actually works, or what it really takes to make their ideas work.
It is worse now with the web. A designer can do something that looks great on screen and works for a web site - but no way in hell will it print that way.
My advice to any designer would be if you are unsure, call the print shop you use. Someone there would be glad to answer your question - they would rather answer a question than have to fix a mistake when they are under the gun and time is tight.
(And as an occasional designer, I’d like to just say that you get a lot of people who have computers and consider themselves “designers” because hey, they can. Some are really good. Some are not. Just because you have the tools doesn’t mean you are good at the job. I mean, I have a 70-piece socket set, do I think I can fix my car? No. And I am not trying to be a snob about it. I just mean…ok fine I am a snob.)

Hmmm…I usually play 10 questions with Jodi and that’s 10. Anything
else you would like to add?
No matter what I say on your blog, you are the best friend ever. Plus, we share a brain, so I kinda have to say that. (However, I will never let you forget that you forgot my birthday.)

(Fine. I forgot your birthday. But I did apologize publicly AND I had been very, very sick. I had made plans and then fell ill and was not able to fulfill the plans. Sorry. And because this is my blog I will now state that although I forgot your birthday, you did leave an apple pie on the counter for like 6 weeks. So there.)

Anything you want to ask?
Where are you taking me when I come visit you next month?????

Well, I’ve been thinking about this and I do have some plans. I will pick you up at the airport on Thursday and take you back to the apartment to drop off your bags and if you like, take a nap. If you aren’t that tired, we can grab lunch on the way. I was thinking either California Chicken Café or Islands. Then I thought maybe we would catch a movie at the Arclight, if there are any good girly films playing that weekend. The Arclight is right across the street from Amoeba records and I half expect to never see you again once you get inside.

On Friday we are getting up at the crack of dawn and driving down to Disneyland. We will spend as much time as humanly possible on It’s a Small World before heading over to California adventure and getting hammered on wine…actually, maybe we should do that the other way round. Might be more fun.

Saturday…well, I was thinking maybe a visit to Venice Beach? Or if you would prefer, we could head out shopping somewhere. Or if you are feeling cultural, we could head down to museum row. See the tar pits and some art. Then maybe back home for some margaritas, pizza rolls and Gosford Park?

You are leaving on Sunday evening so maybe we could check out that new teahouse in Burbank and just have a mellow day? But if you think of anything else you want to do, just let me know.

Okthen.

The Real April Fools

The vegan muffin of the week is chocolate chip with walnuts. I think this is my favorite so far. Jason says his favorite was the carrot but I am still flashing back to that one bite of carrot muffin just past it’s “good by” date. Ugh. I don’t think I will revisit the carrot muffin anytime soon because of that.

Quiet weekend again. Just the way I like it. Knocked around, took a trip to some outlets, bought a silicone bundt pan because who doesn’t need one of those? And did…very little.

I did call my parents because Saturday was their 45th wedding anniversary. Yeah, Saturday, April Fool’s Day. And yes, 45 years. I find it hard to imagine being alive for 45 more years, much less being married that long. I’m pretty sure one of us will kill the other long before then and I don’t doubt that my parents must have felt that way once or twice too. But there they are, still married. And they seem to be enjoying it. Well done, Mom & Dad (who don’t have a computer and don’t plan on getting one so they won’t see this and even if I told them that I had blogged about them they wouldn’t understand because “What the heck is a blog?”).

What kind of people get married on April Fool’s Day, you ask? Well…yeah. Actually, I know that they chose that day in particular because it was close to Easter that year and they wouldn’t have to pay for flowers in the church. So I guess they aren’t foolish at all.

What are you listening to?

I’ve been listening to this Premiere Opera Podcast and I have really been enjoying it. But here is where I make the big confession. Haven’t a clue what they are singing about. I have seen a few operas and I really enjoy watching them but when you actually go and see them, they are usually subtitled. And the when I listen at home I can always follow along with the libretto. But on it’s own, it’s just pretty noise to me. What I like about it, though, is that it’s pretty noise that I can enjoy but I don’t need to concentrate on. I often find myself doing word-heavy work, like indexing, and if I listen to songs in English, I often find myself adding those words to the index. That’s really not good. It could be entertaining…I mean if I was listening to something really raunchy or something. But it’s not good.

Now, I realize that opera is not for everyone. In fact, for a long time I thought it was not for me. But I started listening out of curiosity. I bought a book called What’s All the Screaming About? and learned a little bit about it all. As I recall, it was a very entertaining book and I guess it must have stuck because I have been listening to the screaming ever since. I think it also helped that one of the first real, non-Bugs Bunny opera singers I really listened to was Cecilia Bartoli. She’s just so damn cute I figured that something had to be good about it.

I have also subscribed to a few other podcasts. One is the Paste Magazine Culture Club (and I will say that I did think “oooh Culture Club” for a second before I realized that Boy George had nothing to do with it) and also The Word Nerds. I did listen to Ricky Gervaise’s first series but I haven’t picked up the second yet. The only other ones I have dabbled in are the Vegan Freak Radiot and a Dr. Who podcast. I decided that I didn’t particularly care for them but that’s just me. You might love them.

What are you listening to?

Voted Most Dependable Girl in the First Grade

I know we have broken down the nerd/geek/dork element but what we haven’t talked about (and you know, by “we” I have no idea who “we” are. Whoever feels like answering, I suppose) those strange titles we may have had as kids. It’s not just me, right? I mean this haa come up in my office and we (different “we” here for a moment) have come to the conclusion that there are THOSE kids in every school. You know, the dinosaur kid, the shark kid, the Garfield kid, the dig a hole to China kid…did you have those? Were YOU one of those? Why do kids do that? Become obsessed with one particular idea to the point that it identifies them? I guess adults do it too. I’m sure you have the wine friends, the art friends, the movie friends. But I think it’s more fun in kids because…well really, how many adults are obsessed with digging a hole to China and would you really want to be friends with them anyway?

I don’t know exactly where I fit into that pattern. I was voted “most-dependable” in first grade. Looking back now I realize that that is a really lame-ass award. It’s pretty close to “biggest suck-up” I think. A little later I think I was probably the “reading girl.” I read whenever I had free time in school so I pretty much always had my nose in a book. But on the playground it was a whole other story. I was the “kiss ‘em or kick ‘em” girl. The one who would corner the cute boys and either kiss them or kick them, depending on how I felt that day. Actually this would be an excellent way to live my life now but I suspect that there would be a lot more kicks doled out these days.

So from what I remember, we had Stephen, “the Snoopy boy” who I think was also “the shark kid”. Odd combination, that. Later he would become become “the dude that wears that Dr. Who scarf all the time”, there was Chrissy, “the Woody Woodpecker girl”, who was so obsessed with Woody that she carried around a stuffed Woody doll well into grade school. I know there were several digging kids, but I don’t remember their names, probably because they were always down that hole. I do clearly remember at one “dinosaur kid”. A few “ballet girls” and OH! We had a lot of “horsey girls” in my school. They played with horse figurines the way other kids might play Barbie’s and they even played “stables” rather than playing “house”. Like they were racehorses and if you played with them you could be the new foal in the paddock or something. Looking back, that one is pretty creepy.

Just one more thing...

I love this video. Really excellent animation. It is part of my "happy day" file. I am particularly fond of the part where he throws himself on the ground. The song is ok too. But the animation rocks.

Mmm...word salad.

Have you ever had that moment when your native tongue suddenly becomes alien to you? Like when you say your name over and over and at some point, quite suddenly, it just becomes a sound (please don’t ask me why you would say your name over and over again, I don’t really know). Or when you say a word and realize that the sound of it, the actual phonetics of it, make no sense at all. The word still means cheese but the sound…it’s just noise. I think that there is an actual mental illness that causes this but you know…I just have a mild case. I’m not dangerous or anything.

Actually in looking this up I find a few interesting types of linguistic-type mental problems. Both have excellent names: word salad and echolalia, you may remember these from psych 101. But that’s not really the point.

So, I was reading this article about free speech by Tom Stoppard, who incidentally wrote one of my favorite plays (it’s an interesting article, by the way of the incidentally tangent). But I stopped to look up a word. I won’t shame myself by telling you which one but I will say that I thought I knew the word and just wanted to check that I was interpreting what he said correctly, which sounds like justification (and it is) but I do have a reasonably decent vocabulary, believe it or not. But from that point on it all seemed like another language to me and I kept having to go back and look words up. No kidding, I must have looked up 5 more words…just to check. And then I started looking up words that I KNOW that I know…just to check. Is this what they call a breakdown? Perhaps I should look it up…just to check.

In which I bore you (assuming you even read it)

So the breakfast thingy of the week is pumpkin cranberry breakfast cookies. And that is good. They aren’t vegan but I guess they could be with a little work. I’ve not mess much with egg replacers, I guess that will have to be my next round of experimental baking.

So it was a weekend of…well…we went to some places we had never been…and we got lost coming home. Well, James, got lost. And he will tell you he didn’t get lost he knew where he was going; he just went 2o some odd blocks out of the way. I knew where I was but after I asked him if he knew how to get home and he said yes, I kept my mouth shut for 17 blocks. Maybe he was taking me somewhere nice for a surprise, how would I know? Turns out he just went the wrong way. Go figure.

Anyway, one of the new places we visited was Mitsuwa Marketplace, a Japanese supermarket. I did go there with an ulterior motive in mind. I really wanted to find a Sakura Kit-Kat. And I did. And it was good. (Hunh, in looking for a picture of it, I found a lot of negative reviews. Me, I’m pretty picky about chocolate and I liked it, so there!) I had also read that they had excellent sushi grade fish. We didn’t get any because we didn’t know when we would get home, so I am thinking next time we will put a cooler in the trunk. Just in case.

I think it’s always fun to explore grocery stores. I like finding new products and new foods. Since this was largely imported products, there was a lot to linger over. We came home with some candy, some beer and some pork buns and I am quite sure we will go back for some fish and more candy.

Then we had dinner at The Counter.. It’s a nice burger joint and when you sit down you are given a clipboard with a checklist to build your own burger. The possibilities are kind of staggering. You can also chose between beef, turkey and veggie burgers and I think even a chicken breast. I did have beef, even though I am not a fan because I kind of felt like I should try what they were famous for. Frankly, I could have been happy with a sammich made just from toppings. They had an amazing onion marmalade and lovely veggies. I ended up giving a good portion of the meat to James but I ate all the bleu cheese, mixed greens, tomatoes and onion marmalade myself. We also tried the fried dill pickles. They were fine but I probably wouldn’t get them again. Nothing wrong with them but they didn’t thrill me. I did notice that they offer a chocolate burger for dessert but that just scared me and there was no way I could have fit it in anyway.

It was kind of big cooking weekend too. Aside from the breakfast cookies, I made some tortillas and some potato/corn filling for tonight’s enchiladas. And for dinner last night I tried out Martha’s recipe for chicken and dumplings. I liked the gravy and I guess I always thought you needed more liquid than this to make the dumplings but no. I did decide that I preferred my own version of dumplings though and will continue to make them with Bisquick (That last bit is mostly for my brother who also likes to make what we grew up calling “chicken pot-pie” and everyone else calls “chicken and dumplings”).

OK enough. If you made it this far you are now bored. Go read something interesting.

Recipe-ish(it's really more of an idea)

Hey, do me a favor. No, actually, do yourself a favor and make this recipe-ish. Unless you are a vegetarian, then you might not like it as is contains meat. Sorry. Maybe if you are a vegetarian you should just skip this. But if you are not…take the skin off some turkey legs (this is honestly the hardest part of this recipe-ish, it’s all gravy from here…well not really gravy, more like barbecue sauce…but you’ll see…) ok, now chuck those turkey legs in your crock-pot. What? You don’t have a crock-pot? Ok, go get one…then chuck the turkey legs in it. I promise it will totally be worth it. Now, cover those turkey legs in barbecue sauce. I made my own (oooh ladidah!) but it was really easy. I used a large can of tomato sauce and added brown sugar, salt, red pepper, liquid smoke, garlic powder, mustard and soy sauce until I liked the way it tasted (you’d think that someone like me who likes to cook would be more specific but hey, that’s how I roll). Ok, once your legs are covered just put the lid on the crock-pot and let then cook on low for 5-6 hours.

When you take the turkey legs out they will absolutely fall off the bone. Just be careful of the tendons (they will be easy to see amongst the meat. They will be an ivory color).

Really, this was soooooo good and so easy. James and I rarely agree on dinners but this was a mutual hit. If you like barbecue and especially if you like pork barbecue but you want something a little lighter, give it a try. I hope you like it.

Magic Ipod

I wasn’t going to do this one (stolen from Jodi who nicked it from elsewhere) but I just had to. I couldn’t help myself. I had to know what my friends really think of me. And I like the answer…I don’t exactly believe it but I like it. But some of the answers were fun anyway. And my mom would certainly appreciate that my ipod (ok, well, I am pretty sure she kind of knows what an ipod is but…maybe not) told me to “stand up straight.”

How does the world see me?
Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker)-Parliament

Will I have a happy life?
Suffragette City-Seu Jorge

What do my friends really think of me?
Respect-Aretha Franklin

Do people secretly lust after me?
Higher Than The -Primal Scream

How can I make myself happy?
Air-Gardin

What should I do with my life?
Radio Cure-Wilco

Will I ever have children?
Use It-The New Pornographers

What is some good advice for me?
Stand Up Tall-Dizzee Rascal

How will I be remembered?
Always Take The Weather With You-Crowded House

What is my signature song?
I Need You Tonight-INXS

What do I think my signature song is?
I Wanna Be Your Dog-The Stooges

What does everyone else think my signature song is?
Jacking The Ball-Sea & Cake

What song will play at my funeral?
The Staunton Lick-Lemon Jelly

What type of guys do I like?
Schools Out For The Summer-Alice Cooper

What is my day going to be like?
This Charming Man-The Smiths

Now, Brenda commented that she didn’t want to show her playlists after reading mine and Jodi’s but I have to say, I have one particular playlist that contains the music I listen to at work. Then there is the rest of my music. And I make no bones about the fact that I like what I like. I like me some Spice Girls, I like me some Culture Club and I love me some Django Reinhardt. I will pretty much listen to anything. Heck, just yesterday I was listening to the Marriage of Figaro in my car. I don’t know what they heck they are saying but I sure like the way they say it.

My lack of musical discretionhas on occasion driven my friends a little crazy, I don’t think that Jules ever wants to listen to Loretta Lynn or the Barenaked Ladies ever again. But she doesn’t have to. At least I know that Lava Bear and I are agreed that “Toxic” truly is Britney’s best song ever.

And Brenda, like I said, you can’t go wrong with Greg Kihn. You really can’t. And just because I can, here is the proof of my longstanding love for him. This is a photo of a clipboard made for me circa…1990 or so, maybe a bit earlier, by my best friend. Among the many photos pasted on it…there is a photo of one Mr. Greg Kihn.

Memento Nori

I have this bad habit (what, just one?). If I am watching television alone, I tend to watch more than one thing at a time. This is generally not wise but I do get some interesting mash-ups. I think one of my favorites was Troy of the Dead. Who knew that Spartans and zombies mixed so well? (Go now and write that Roman zombie movie for me, you know you want to).

So this past weekend it was Dr. Eddie Who Izzard (yeah, I don’t know how to make that into a clever mash-up title, sorry). BBCAmerica was playing Eddie Izzard: Circle and although I have seen it, I do love me some British men in drag. Mix it up with a little cheesy, hot sci-fi (mmm…cheesy hot sci-fi) and I am in geeky heaven. I will not even go into the fact that I do so love them all, Eddie and the Doctor and Rose. These are beautiful looking people. And how does Eddie do what he do in five inch heels when I can’t even sit in them without looking like an idiot? If that’s not proof that we are all just “born that way” then I don’t know what is. I totally missed out on the “dress like a girl” gene. I guess Eddie got mine. And let me just tell you, when you do wear the high heels, please remember that the toilet is now that much lower. It’s…yeah…I speak from experience here, people.

I took a little jaunt with some girlfriends this weekend. We went out to Ojai, a little town that I had never before visited. It was pretty interesting and we had a good ol’ time wandering around and having tea. Yep, tea. What with the scones and clotted cream and everything. And belive me, clotted cream tastes much better than it sounds. So this put me in mind of opening my own goth themed bakery. Do you think people would actually buy food from a place called Malicious Delicious? What if the predominant theme of the bakery was skull and crossbones? Do you think that is sending a mixed message there? Hmmm… I think this is something I need to work on. How does one make truly black cupcake icing anyway?

Oddly, this actually ties in to a cookbook idea that I’ve been working on. My husband thought that I should author a goth cookbook. I don’t know if I will ever get around to it but every once in a while I crack myself up when I think of a good recipe. C’mon…Never S’mores? Bella Linguini is Dead? Memento Nori rolls? This, my friends, is comedy gold…or something.

Avocados, Morrissey and the Randomness of it all.

I am kind of amazed by the way my tastes have changed over time. And by tastes, I do mean actually taste bud type tastes but also the more philosophical sort of tastes as well. For example, for most of my life I did not care for the taste of avocado. I tried it whenever it was offered but it always seemed to have the scent and texture of play-dough to me and if I wanted to eat green play-dough I would just steal some from a first grader and eat it.

Then I moved to California, where everything is coated in avocado. Everything. Every freaking sammich seems to have a slice of avocado on it and eventually I just got tired of saying “And no avocado or mayonnaise, please” (yeah, they put mayo on your burger without asking you…why do they do that? ok, maybe it’s just islands that does that, I don’t know, but it gets on my nerves) and just took it off myself. Then one day I got tired of even taking the avocado off and hey bam! There it is. It actually tasted good. Like literally out of nowhere I decided that I liked avocado and now…one of my favorite things in the world. How exactly did that happen?

And then there is Morrissey. I have never been a fan. I have always claimed that he just sounds too much like Kermit the frog and as much as I love Kermit, I don’t need to listen to him singing all the time. But one day, a few months ago I woke up and thought, I MUST LISTEN TO THE SMITHS TODAY. I have no idea where it came from or why but there it was. I collected some songs and started listening…and listening…I put it on my iPod and listened to then while baking vegan muffins (how appropriate!), I played them in my car, at my desk. I only have about ten or 12 songs but I started listening to them over and over again. I love the music, I love the lyrics, but I still can’t say I love his voice. But I love it enough to keep listening. How did that happen?

And keeping with the theme of tastes, randomness and music...ten random songs from iTunes today...
Natural Blues-Moby—Jules has been sending me music on Fridays lately but this morning this showed up. She felt it was a most appropriate song for a Monday. I agree.
Milk And Apples-Jets To Brazil—Another song gifted to me. I don’t actually know much about this band but they certainly are fun.
You Only Move Twice-Jeniferever—I think I picked this up at 3hive one day and I liked it enough to keep it.
Always Take The Weather With You -Crowded House—I have always loved this song. It just seems so sad.
Pictures of You-The Cure—Talk about loving a song. This was a favorite to dance to in the Dance Hall Days of my youth. Usually alone. How pathetic is that?
Stripped-Depeche Mode—Damn this is a good mix of ten. Fave Depeche song ever!
Ever Fallen In Love?-The Buzzcocks—Oh it just gets better and better! Man, I am glad I cleaned up the ol’ iTunes a bit. This song is punk rock brilliant!
Mama Said Knock You Out-LL Cool J—Oh the ladies, we do love Cool James. This one…ah, so classic.
Lies-Thompson Twins—I could not have asked for a better random ten today. Did you know that Alanna Curry of Thompson Twins shaved her eyebrows because she couldn’t afford the rainbow colored contact lenses she wanted to make the band stand out? Yeah, I don’t know if that’s true or not, I just remember reading that once a long time ago.
You Can't Break A Broken Heart-The 6ths (Magnetic Fields)—sigh. I am almost sad that this is random. But to save this mix, as it’s own play list defeats the randomness of life.
(No Smiths…go figure).

And just in case you were wondering, because really, why wouldn’t you…the vegan breakfast pastry of the week is currant scones with oats, very good.

Finally, following the theme of randomness, this morning I found this picture in my inbox. Ms. Smith took it for me way back in December. I am posting without permission because that’s how I roll…also I am too lazy to ask but if you look carefully you can see the chandeliers hanging along Rodeo Blvd for Christmas. I am fascinated by the fact that they do this but so far not fascinated enough to get my butt down to Beverly Hills to see them. Maybe next year. Until then I have this picture to marvel. Thank you Ms. Smith for remembering my fascination and taking a quick drive-by snap for me.

YAY!

Just a reminder. Dr. Who starts on the SciFi network tonight. Please watch it so they continue showing on into the new season. It's good, take my word for it. You don't need to be familiar with previous versions of the Doctor and really...how can you resist such hotness (both of 'em!)?

Happy Day

Yesterday was not my favorite day. Aside from the traffic nothing really bad happened but it left me feeling really frazzled. Yeah, I said frazzled, what about it? BUT I was just cleaning some stuff from my computer and I found my "Happy Day" folder, which contains some videos of things that just make me a little happier. Now with the ease of Google Video, I hope you have a happier day too...

I don't know why I love this guy so much but don't you want to travel the world and do your stupid dance too?

Can someone just tell me what the heck is up with her legs? It's not just me, is it? Those are all kinds of wrong, right? (Image from Glamour Magazine UK)

*sigh*

Today in a nutshell…it took one hour and fifty-five minutes (or so) to drive approximately 22 miles. This did not make me happy.

And some brief messages to some people I met on the road today:

To the man in the black BMW SUV thingy: Just because you wave your hand out the window doesn’t mean you get to automatically cut in front of me. And that gesture I made at you did not mean, “By all means sir, please go ahead” it meant “Hey, asshole WTF?”

To the lady in the blue Ford SUV thingy: When you pass me on the right…ON THE SHOULDER and then the shoulder narrows and you want to get in front of me, I will flip you off and call you really nasty names because I OBEYED THE LAW you stupid woman. And guess what, all the rest of us need to get to work, or to the store, or to our appointments too. So yes, F*** YOU TOO. Next time stay in the proper lanes and behave like a human being.


Look, I am generally not an ANGRY person, really but this was ridiculous.

"She comes in colors"...what the heck is that supposed to mean?

JustJENN was asking about songs that “make your heart ache.” And there is no doubt that we all have them. I guess it’s mostly our connections with the songs and where and when we heard them but has anyone ever told you that a particular song reminds them of you? Were you disturbed by the answer? I was thinking about this the other day, I used to have a playlist called “Songs I Wish Were About Me” and the only song that I remember being in there was “Nosering Girl by Nerf Herder. I don’t have a nose ring, although I have thought about it on occasion but then I just think…ow. Anyway, I remember someone once told me that “Punk Rock Girl" by The Dead Milkmen reminded them of me and while I am flattered and I do like iced tea and I used to wish I could afford to shop at Zipperhead (which, sadly, no longer exists) and there was a time where I did eat at the Philly Pizza Company (look, if you just look at the lyrics, you will understand why I say all this), I have never jumped on a table in any restaurant and I don’t much are for Mojo Nixon nor have I even stolen a car. So I never really knew how to take it. Is it nice to remind someone of a song? And what happens if YOU don’t like that song? A guy once told me that I made him think of the song “She Comes in Colors”…what exactly does that mean? And how would he know anyway? What is the appropriate response to such a comment (“Don’t come near me! I have a gun!”).

I always think that I want someone to say that a really cool song reminds them of me. A song like…well, I don’t know. I guess “You Shook Me All Night Long” might be nice but hardly appropriate. Or how about “Lips Like Sugar”? OK at the very least I will take “Toxic” (c’mon, I’m pretty toxic). But no, I get the ones that I can’t puzzle out. Or the ones that just don’t fit. Or the ones that I wish would fit but don’t. Sigh. Although I suppose I should just be happy that it wasn’t something like “Queen Bitch” or “Rock Me Amadeaus.”

ADDENDUM: And what about the really inappropriate use of songs in ads? Last year JC Penney used “99 Red Balloons”(the English version of Nena’s “99 Luft Balloons”) which we all know is about nuclear war, in a VALENTINE’S DAY ad. Now I have had some bad Valentines but really! My friend was so outraged that she wrote a letter to Penney’s. You will notice they did not run that ad campaign this year. And, as my husband likes to point out, the really terrible use of any song by Applebee’s. “Imagine steak and shrimp and shrimp and steak” to the tune of “Happy Together”? You couldn’t do better than that Applebee’s?

Heh, You said "Duty."

Hey CBS! If you are going to name your hot new show "The Unit”, then please don’t expect me not to snicker like a fourteen year old boy everytime you tell me to watch "THE UNIT." The only thing that would make it better was if "THE UNIT" was sponsored by The Sak. Or perhaps you might like to run those Ford SUPER DUTY commercials because yes, I am that immature.

Please stop putting your unit all over my TV and then I will stop laughing at your unit. OK?

I got the cold feet.

I don’t have much to say about the Battlestar finale as I am a watcher but not really a follower, I have missed too many episodes. But I would like to note that everyone I have spoken to about it (OK, by everyone, I do mean the two women I talk to everyday who watch it) and the first comment from each of us was that hair and babies must grow differently on New Caprica. I will excuse it though since I have no idea how a half-cylon baby ages or if gravity or something could influence hair growth in a human. That’s all I really have to say about it.

Oh and I know I said I was not going to talk about the muffins but when I said that I meant those specific muffins. There were no muffins last week because there were…vegan scones. Very good pecan scones with just a little bit of maple. Yum. This week there are muffins again, cherry almond muffins. Also very good. I was careful about baking time and turned the pan halfway through since I think my crappy oven is hotter on one side than the other. But they came out fine and I would say they are very good. I don’t much care for the wet fruit in the muffin though so next time I will try it with dried instead. Still, they are tasty nonetheless.

It was a pretty quiet weekend at casa de me. We blew a fuse on Saturday and since we don’t have access to the fuse box we had to wait for the landlady to come and fix it so we were left with all important electrical toys unusable. No internets, no television, no coffee and no toast. It was all fine by me…except the coffee part. That kind of sucked.

Today I noticed that it is actually colder here (in L.A.) than it is on the east coast. Now I realize that I grew up on the east coast and I know what cold feels like (well New Jersey cold, not like Nebraska cold) and L.A. cold is not all that cold but 40 degrees is 40 degrees and that, my friends, is what it has been in the evenings and that is cold. It’s been in the 60s in the afternoons, which I can handle but I swear it’s about 40 at my desk right now. I am wearing two sweaters, wool sock and furry boots and I am still shivering. And as the east coast spring starts, L.A. will stay cool and then it will be June, which is always gray and chilly to me. That seems so absurd but for the 8 years I have spent in L.A. every June people start saying “It’s so cold! It’s June, it shouldn’t be this cold” and I have to start yelling about how it’s always this way and that’s why they call it the JUNE GLOOM people! Man, pay attention why don’t you.

Sorry. That’s my little rant for the day. JUNE GLOOM, ok? I hate it and I am not enjoying March that much either.

As long as I am here...

I got a little present today. See, Batman DOES TOO LOVE ME! I don't know how many times I have to say it!
(thanks Mr. Beaucoup)

Everybody else was doing it...

Commenty

I started out writing a comment to what a few people had commented on in a previous post but then it got long so I figured I would just make it an entry and make it look like I have a lot of things to write about. But what I really like is how it ends and begins with bakery related non-sequitrs.

Also, the lovely Ms. Smith gave me a dark chocolate cupcake from Sprinkles today. I have to say the cake was excellent but the icing was too sweet and I do not agree with any sort of cupcake construction that requires eating said cupcake with a fork. Cupcakes are handhelds. Also, I think “Sprinkles” sounds like a dirty name for some reason. Still, it was a good cupcake.

My comments to my comments:

Teacakes, you say? Hmmmm.

The movies I never need to see again are...movies I never need to see again.

Matchstick Men was quite tedious to me but to be honest, I don’t remember why. I am not a big fan of Nicholas Cage and Sam Rockwell…he can be fun but he is always Sam Rockwell to me. You know?

Jackie Brown confused the hell out of me because I kept knowing what was going to happen, I decided that Ii was psychic and then realized I had actually read the book (“Rum Punch”). BUT, I kind of just didn’t like the movie. I don’t think Pam Grier is a BAD actress but I don’t love her either and I just don’t like Robert Forester. I just don’t.

The Karate Kid is one of those over-hyped movies from my youth that I imagine I enjoyed as a teen but now I can’t stand. Although Ralph Macchio hold the distinction of being the only celebrity to whom I have ever written a fan letter (I didn’t get a reply). I will confess however that I have yelled “SWEEP THE LEG” more than once in my life.

L.A. Confidential is a total anomaly for me. I should like it. I really should. I like Guy Pierce, I like Kevin Spacey, I like Russell Crowe,I like James Cromwell and I really like Paul Guilfoyle. All that should counteract my distaste for Kim Basinger and that soft, soft focus on her not-an-ingénue-anymore face but I just didn’t care for it. I remember thinking at the time that it was tedious and obvious but I haven’t seen it since then because, as I say I never need to see it again. Maybe I am wrong.

Strange Days is a bad movie that I have seen many times. Partially I think it is my fondness for Ralph Fines that brings me back but it is a nasty, nasty story, so I don’t know why I come back to it. I do have this fascination with Juliette Lewis too. She’s…compelling for some reason.

One of my favorite L.A. movie moments/memories though is in a movie that is not actually set in L.A. I remember seeing Jurassic Park 2 and the scene where they bring the dinosaur back and it escapes from the boat and runs around tearing up the city. I believe that is supposed to be set in…maybe San Diego. But as I was watching in the theatre, I realized that the street the dinosaur was running down was actually the street right in front of the very theatre in which I was sitting and it alternately freaked me out/made me happy. I was a little afraid that when the movie was over I would come out to a city terrorized by a T. Rex (the dinosaur, not the glam rock band). Sadly, or perhaps happily, I just don’t know anymore, it wasn’t. But this sort of thing happens all the time on TV as well. Almost every street background on sit-coms is my neighborhood. It is unnerving to be watching a show set in New York or Chicago and see Magnolia Blvd. in Burbank being used as background.

And if they were squid cupcakes, I think you could fairly call them a gross.