Friday, June 27, 2008


I am preparing to take a trip, so , despite the fact that I have been very lax about posting here, I just wanted to make it clear that it is about to get even more lax. Because I suck.

And my trip comes at a very awkward time. Right before a craft fair and comic-con. Both of which require me to be prepared. Which I am sort of am. Sort of. I am always sort of prepared. And that’s kind of what is causing me just a little bit more stress at the moment. I gotta pack. I gotta pack for my trip, I gotta pack for a craft fair and I gotta pack for comic con. And I need to make sure I‘ve got everything I need. And I need a lot.

I keep telling myself that I am not going off into the wilderness. There are drugstores and grocery stores and Targets and Walmarts and…everything in all the places I am going. If I forget something, I can just pop out and get it. And my brain does know that, but I can’t help tucking in that sewing kit, just in case. Those extra books, just in case. Two sweaters…for the summer weather on the east coast. Sandals, flip flops, clogs and sneakers. Should I take a pair of dress shoes? You know, in case I have a job interview or a wedding to attend? What about soap? Do I need soap? There is soap at mom’s house. But I like my soap. And I use a different soap on my face than the one I use in the shower…should I consolidate? Mom always said always pack a dress. Do I even own a dress?

It’s not that bad. I get it done and I get it done well, but it’s always a bit of a battle between my brain and my…brain. Knowing what I need and what I might need are two different things. Although, I will say, my overpacking and planning tendencies have come in handy in the past. People mocked me for keeping an ice scraper in my car. The ice scraper I bought 15 years ago in New Jersey that still resides in my trunk in semi-sunny Los Angeles. But I always thought, well, maybe I will need to use that snow brush on ash someday. And frost isn’t UNHEARD of here, it’s just UNLIKELY. But on that cross –country trip two years ago? The one with the blizzard? A lot of people were really happy that one girl from Los Angeles, staying in that little hotel in Arizona, had an ice scraper. One person was prepared for anything. That was me.

This time I am trying to take my cue from my mother. When I was a kid she and my father traveled together a fair amount. It was to business conferences with fancy people but travel is travel, no? My mom would always map out her wardrobe. I remember the lists well. They looked kind of like this:

Morning (museum trip): Floral skirt, blue blouse, blue espadrilles, silver chunky necklace, silver earrings, woven handbag,
Afternoon (Tea): Pale blue suit, silk camisole, tan pumps, tan envelope bag, gold necklace and earrings
Evening (cocktails and theatre): brown sequined gown, evening bag, brown heels, gold wrap
Also: Swimsuit and sunhat for after tea

OK, fine, that’s not what I need to do, Mine looks more like this

Monday: black pants, grey tee, black flip flops
Tuesday: green pants, brown top, brown flip flops

And on and on.

But oh, there are 4 or 5 novels, 3 graphic novels, two sketchbooks, a computer, a pile of work, last minute designs, a yoga DVD, 3 British TV series (Sensitive Skin and Shoestring) and one documentary on medieval cooking and soap/

But I am getting there. I have a list. Lists are good.

So, as I said, going away. Back…well…eventually. See ya later, suckers!

Friday, June 20, 2008


Something has just occurred to me that makes me feel pretty darn stupid. Well…stupider than usual anyway.

I have insomnia. I have always had insomnia but from time to time, and especially around this time of year, it gets worse. I don’t sleep much at all. In some ways I am used to it, it’s been going on most of my life but tired is tired and lately, it’s been the even more evil kind of insomnia. No pills, natural or otherwise seem to help. Meditation, relaxation techniques, chamomile tea, my insomnia laughs at these. And this is, and I am speaking from experience here, a psychological issue. There is no real medical reason that is the problem. And while everyone else is complaining about the heat, I have found the nights to be the perfect sleeping temperature…if I could sleep.

So…here’s the tie in that made me realize that I am stupid. Aside from having insomnia on and off most of my life, I have also had migraines. The thing is, when I was a kid, I didn’t have the language to express what I was feeling and I could only really tell my mom or the doctor that I had a bad headache. It was put down to allergies (which are my primary trigger) and I was given meds for them that I did not like and eventually would not take (they made me dizzy and ill, the pain was better than the painkiller). As an adult, I finally had the language to explain what was going on and lo and behold, not crazy, just migraine-y. But now I know and I can combat them, stop them, or ride them out without fear of…well, whatever one fears with a headache.

So, the insomnia, I was just reading a little about magnesium and particular supplements that may help with a lot of things…one of them being difficulty sleeping. Also that magnesium, which aids in the relaxation of nerves and muscles, is depleted when one is under stress.

Um…turns out. I am stressed. Heh. Look, I know that there is stress in my life, but generally I look at it as stuff that has to be taken care of before I can relax. I don’t really think of it as stress because it’s just the stuff that needs to get done. Aaaaaaand another word for “stuff that needs to get done” is…? Oh…stressors.

Stupid. But now that I can look at the stuff that needs to get done and the effects that said stuff is having on me, I think I can finally get my head around it as “stress” and respond to it appropriately. Yes, yes, I knew there was stress, I just didn’t understand how it was actually affecting me. I knew that when the bedroom was redecorated and all the new furniture was out of the living room and the old furniture was out of the house, I would be happier but you know, it’s furniture! What’s there to get stressed about? Oh, those giant boxes blocking every pathway in my living room? That floor that needs vacuuming but the vacuum is in the closet that is blocked by the boxes? The printer that needs to be printing out cards and such for comic con that is trapped between two other giant boxes? That long trip that is going to be hard work…just before your job demands you to be cheerful, flexible and in the public eye? Right. I get it now, that’s not called life…that’s called stress.

More meditation, more magnesium, more printing and cleaning and hopefully sleep will follow, now that I get it. Dur.

Also…more chocolate. Chocolate has magnesium in it. Seriously.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


What DID get done this past weekend the weekend before last:

Spent some time with the cat.
Chose and ordered new bedroom furniture.
Cleaned all of the bathroom.
Cleaned some of the bedroom.
Went to Goodwill.
Ate a very nice veggie taco at Hugo’s.
Made spicy chicken vegetable soup and popovers.
Did some other stuff that I can’t remember…

One notable thing this past weekend the weekend before last? We ate dinner in every night. Usually we go out at least one night on the weekend and I had fully intended to go out on Friday night but my hippie home grocery delivery arrived and we had tons of veggies so it seemed that a roasted veggie salad was in order. Then we tried to go out for BBQ on Saturday but it was too long a wait. So there were BLTAs and the most delicious organic “potato puffs.” Then Sunday it was home made spicy chicken soup. Kind of like tortilla soup but w/o tortillas. And it was all really good. But now I don’t want to cook again…but I did last night too! (Chicken sausages in the slowcooker with a nice tomato sauce with lots of spices and red wine, served over polenta and topped with sautéed fennel, spinach salad on the side). I wouldn’t say it’s been “healthy” around here, there’s been a fair amount of meat going on but you know, it’s been better than average.

Um…yeah, things have not been getting done around here as fast as they should be. My living room is filled with bedroom furniture. My “office” is over run with comic-con supplies, my car, until recently, was filled with Goodwill donations. It’s been a wee bit crazy. And instead of doing what I should be doing, I caught up on Doctor Who episodes.

But there is a lot of new, exciting art in the works. PIN UP GIRLS! CUPCAKES! And I’m having…fun. I am really enjoying drawing lately, so, you know, that’s good. Even if I am not getting everything done.

Friday, June 06, 2008


Things I would LIKE to do this weekend:

Take a long nap.
Make granola in the slow cooker.
Make some brownies for my dad.
Finish reading that book about yoga.
Go record shopping.
Spend some time with the cat.
Watch the second season of Life on Mars.
Work on my newest “art” which I am kind of in love with.
Purchase new bedroom furniture.

Things I NEED to do this weekend:
Print up cards.
Score cards.
Cut cards.
Pack cards.
Design new cards.
Clean the bathroom.
Clean the bedroom.
Clean the office.
Clean the living room.
Make some stuff for lunches for next week.
Make some stuff for breakfasts next week.
Go to Goodwill.
Make onsies for friend.

Things that WILL get done this weekend.
Bathroom will be cleaned.
(Some) cards will be printed, scored, cut, folded and packed.
Onesies will be made.
(Some) food stuff will be made.
(Some) of bedroom and office will be cleaned.

I make no promises though.

I started a new drawing yesterday that I was so pleased with that I was giddy for the rest of the night. It’s still in the digital sketch stage but I have big plans for it. Today, however, my allergies kicked in big time. My eyes were watering while I was in the shower so I took some meds. I was doing ok until now. They are starting to make me sleepy and I really don’t feel like drawing now. Which makes me sad because last night, that was all I wanted to do! Ah well. I’ll get there. That’s my motto, actually, well, no, my motto is “It will get done, because it has to.” But you know…loose translation and all. Happy weekend!

Monday, June 02, 2008


I don’t have a coherent post today. FINE! I don’t have a coherent post ANY day, but I have a lot of things running through my mind so, in brief…possibly. I don’t know how brief…

-I made some chocolate pumpkin muffins to eat for breakfast this week. They are indeed vegan and I adapted them a little but from here. I don’t much care for ginger, so I left that out. I added some vanilla and some flax seeds too. I had one for breakfast this morning. I had it in the car with me and the smell was killing me! I couldn’t eat until I was out of woogy traffic but the intense chocolate scent filled my car and made me a little crazy. When I finally was able to eat I thought “Oh…eh. These are ok, but a little bland.” But then, by the time I got to work I was longing for another and now I am sitting here typing and thinking “Awwww yeah, I am having a chocolate pumpkin muffin for breakfast tomorrow and it’s gonna be…sooo…..goooooood!” So…is that weird? That’s how addiction works, right? You are kind of like, oh I don’t really care and then the next thing you know you are sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by empty muffin wrappers and you can’t remember the last twenty minutes. Anyway. I think I like these muffins but I also think that if I made them again, I’d leave out the cinnamon, add some chocolate extract and some more cocoa. But oh, they are so velvety…

-The weekend was particularly cruel to my sinuses. Apparently, whatever was in the air is what I am allergic to (well, besides the pot smoke, I mean.) and I found myself sitting at my desk on Saturday, working away, tears streaming down my face. Ugh. Sunday did not get better however. The smell of burning monkey was so overpowering that we ended up closing all the windows and turning on all the air filters. Damn monkey.

-I finally finished watching the second season of Torchwood and came to the realization that I am just watching it out of crossover duty. I will watch the next season to see how they fix what was broken at the end of last season but…really not all that into it. Love Jack, love Gwen, love Capt. John but not thrilling to the stories.

-Watched Tristram Shandy: a Cock and Bull Story, which kind of left me…confused. I confess that I have never read the book but I was intrigued by the film since it had so many actors that I like in it. But I found the story telling to be muddled and self congratulatory…which is how I think I was supposed to feel. So…well done? I don’t know.

-I ordered some local organic fruit and veg through a delivery company. The delivery was free but I did have an added carbon offset charge. Which was still cheaper than the pizza delivery charge at pretty much every place. I don’t mind paying a little extra for cleaner air, that’s fine. Look how earth friendly I am! Actually, I was thinking about this the other day. Around earth day when everyone was all “Rah-rah! Look what you can do to save the environment!” I kept quiet because I was feeling like, wow, I just don’t do enough. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, I do a fair amount but it doesn’t seem like it because I’ve always done it. Or I’ve been doing it for a long time , anyway. I have my own shopping bags and I have for many years now. I still sometimes get the clerk that tells me that they don’t know the price on these bags because there is no tag. Um…yeah. I brought those. I generally make my own cleaning supplies. Have done for quite a while now. I don’t drive a hybrid but I did pay extra so my car would be a ULEV. So, you know, that’s not too bad. Well…it’s better than nothing. So, if you need to charge me an extra buck or two for my carbon footprint then go ahead, I am trying to fill smaller shoes anyway.