Toast.

I am going to be completely honest with you here. I am burnt. And crispy. Like toast. Burnt, crispy, toast. Or bacon. Overdone. Uncomfortably crunchy. No, let’s go with toast. I like toast. I don’t care so much for the bacon. I am toast.

It’s been a busy three or four weeks around here. Traveling, birthdaying, premiering, Felt Clubbing, and having a cold has taken it out of me. Add on the poor air quality due to the fires and I am left a crispy outer shell with very little inside. But you know what? I am left, and my home is intact (messy, but intact) and all my people are ok, so I guess being burnt out, is a lot better than some of the alternatives around here right now.

Felt Club was good. I think we were pretty successful. We always get nice people visiting us and this time was no exception. And hey, there were also people we sort of know. Friends and internet buddies stopped by and that was lovely. I bought stuff that I don’t need but want anyway and that too was lovely. An adorable “soap dish” that is destined to become a display stand for the perfect cupcake, a very excellent print of a bat, a charming watercolor, a nice little bag…probably some other things that I am not remembering. It was big and it was loud and it was crowded and it was fun but on top of everything else, it was pretty exhausting.

And besides that, I had, AGAIN, this weird blushing problem. See, I am pretty shy. I do blush quite a lot when I have to talk to strangers but usually, it’s like, in a classroom situation, or being singled out from a crowd, which I guess is not really that strange, right? That’s a normal reponse, to blush when put on the spot. But here, it happened twice, no…three times during conversations that I instigated. And when I blush, I get really embarrassed. Which is kind of the opposite of how it’s supposed to work, right? But yet again, while talking to a very pleasant artist that I am fond of, I felt my cheeks flare red and I hightailed it out of there. And again when I spoke to a handbag designer and yet again while talking to a cartoonist. Now, partially I can say that I get bashful because these people are good at what they do and I feel a wee bit tiny next to them, but you know, I feel a wee bit tiny next to pretty much everyone, so…I don’t know. Any one have any ideas on combating that creeping flush?

Anyway, now it’s on to one more craft show, this one a smaller deal, but a very nice one, I am looking forward to that. And there’s a little bit of work to be done for it, but nothing too scary. And there’s thanksgiving. Which I thought was two weeks away. And I was wrong. So…yeah. And apparently I am cooking for all of you, so I guess I need to go shopping. And for the record, we usually have Pilsbury orange rolls from a tube for Thanksgiving breakfast. Years ago I would make beautiful cinnamon rolls or muffins or something lovely and take it to my girlfriend’s house. We would eat sweets and drink coffee and go off to our alma mater’s football game and it was a lovely tradition. Until her husband said “Wow, these are good cinnamon rolls, way better than yours, honey.” Thus ended the Thanksgiving breakfast…well and I moved away so…you know. But it’s orange rolls this year, so come early if you are into that (Brenda).

Returned.

So, you don’t really need to know the details of where I went or what I was doing but I will tell you this. I made:

2 large lasagne with sausage
1 large pan brownies
2 pans of chicken stew topped with biscuits
2 pans of chicken and stuffing with gravy
2 pans of pasta with meatsauce and cheese
1 dozen cupcakes
1 dozen biscuits
1 dozen raisin scones
1 large roll of sugar cookie dough
16 deviled eggs
2 dozen deviled clams
2.5 large containers clam/vegetable soup

...and I am thinking there was more, but I don’t honestly remember. It was all a blur. I cooked a lot, I cleaned a bit, I slept amazingly well. And there was no internets. None. It’s a little like visiting the Flintstones. But you know, it’s do-able.

And now it’s back to this reality and there’s a lot of printing and cutting and folding and drawing and…what else? Ironing…bake and shrinking…framing…cleaning. All that stuff. This week there is the Handmade Brigade (if you are there, stop by and say HI! I’ll be the tired one.) In less than two weeks there is the comic-con. And if you are THERE please bring me a coffee (soy milk, little bit of sugar) because I will be the really tired one.

Mild?

I am currently that kind of tired where I think something like “Gee, my stomach hurts, I think I’ve had too much caffeine.” And then I think “Caffeine? You’re soaking in it!” and then I chuckle softly to myself but then…THEN…I realize that my joke to myself made no sense and I try to defend my joke, “You know, like Madge and the Palmolive? Mild? It’s more than just mild, you’re soaking in it!” and then I realize that when I have to explain my own joke to myself and then defend it as being valid humor, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong in my head.

And it’s a pathetic tired because what kept me up was a very simple problem, which I believe I may have solved but if I come back tomorrow and make more Palmolive jokes, you will know I haven’t.

The other thing that my mind spent way too much time processing today was the six degrees of literary separation of Shakespeare and Audrey Hepburn. It’s actually way less then six degrees…any idea how? And for the record, it does not involve Audrey acting in any Shakespearian plays.

I also only just realized that Palmolive probably comes from those two words…palm and olive and suggests the moisturizing properties of the olive on the palm. Duh.

Daily.

Tired, tired, tired. I don’t what is going on in here but man I am tired! Sleeping has gotten difficult due to…whatever and I just can’t seem to catch up. But I figured a tired mind turns out some weird stuff so I thought I’d see what dropped out of my brain today…

Well, first I would like to share my three favorite breakfasts with you. Why, you ask? Because I already told you, I AM TIRED and my brain is funny. And this morning I had one of my favorites and I thought it was funny (remember…tired) and the other day I was reading a blog that listed the some of the blogger’s breakfasts and…whatever…here…

My standby breakfast is Nature’s Path Flax Plus organic cereal with fresh blueberries and soy milk. I can hear you sobbing right now but seriously, this stuff is good. It doesn’t taste like cardboard and unlike certain other healthy cereals it doesn’t contain anything referred to as “twigs” (I’m looking at you, Kashi!). Although, to be honest, I had never noticed that my Kashi contained twigs until my mother pointed out and told me that it was just too…healthy tasting for her. When I don’t have blueberries, I sometimes add raisins or I just buy the raisin bran version. And it was actually Donovan’s Mama that got me eating this cereal, even though she wouldn’t eat it herself. Added bonus, well…sort of a bonus…um…let’s just say, I may not be normal but I am totally regular. Sorry, couldn’t help myself there. Also, Nature’s Path makes what we call in our house “Hippie Pop Tarts”. I will on occasion buy their toaster pastries and I really like them. So much so that now when faced with an actual Pop Tart…not interested. And I see they also have some kind of Pumpkin Raisin Flax Crunch thing going on…gotta find that. Wait…what? Fig and Flax waffles? Dude. Oh and if you totally have a pie fix but you think you are all kinds of healthy and don’t want to make a pie but also cannot imagine doing the McDonald’s drive thu kind of pie, this same company makes something called Pie-Oh-my! I think the name says it all.

You thought I had lost my train of thought here, didn’t you? You thought that I forgot that I was naming my three favorite breakfasts and had just gone on a rant about hippie food, Didn’t you? Nope, I remember. Second favorite breakfast is whole-wheat couscous made with soymilk and mixed with dried fruits, nuts and cinnamon. It’s great hot and it’s good cold and I can make a big container and it will last a few days. It’s a nice alternative to oatmeal, which I like but will rarely make, and you can do just about anything you want to it. If you stick with the whole-wheat couscous you are getting some fiber. And with the soymilk and nuts you’ve got your protein. It’s very filling and comforting and OH SO EASY!

Third favorite is what I had for breakfast this morning. Well, sort of. What I had this morning was a toasted English muffin, covered with I.M. Healthy brand CHOCOLATE soy nut butter and topped with blueberries. And it was good, but what I really like is when have some fresh from the farmer’s market whole-wheat pita. The kind that doesn’t even have a pocket. That’s good stuff.

Finally, my fourth favorite breakfast is one I only get when I am on vacation despite the fact that I actually OWN the necessary tools to make MICKEY WAFFLES. Somehow they just taste better in Disneyworld. And in just a few weeks, I will be indulging in them daily. Maybe by then I will be less tired….maybe not.

So, why blog about breakfast? Well, it is the most important meal of the day. But mostly because I am still tired and it entertained me.

Honestly, breakfast has always been a difficult meal for me. I don’t like mornings much and eating in the morning just isn’t my thing. So when I dedicated myself to a regular breakfast, I knew it would be a struggle. Turns out, if you like what you are eating, it’s a lot easier. Some of that came to me when I discovered that soymilk didn’t upset my stomach. (Before that I was eating my granola covered in grapefruit juice, which makes most people cringe when I mention it). And I understood it even better when I found a cereal that I actually LIKED that wasn’t full of junk. Even more when I found things I could eat in the car that wouldn’t cause accidents. Once I figured all that out, everything else became a lot easier. Hunh, it only took me…almost forty years. So, I’m a slow learner.

Back.

I don’t know how to explain the last week to you. And I never got the chance to take any pictures but I don’t know if that would help. I have been attending the San Diego Comic-Con for about ten years now and I still can’t describe what it’s like.

First of all, and this is the part that most people don’t seem to understand. I am not really there as a fan. Yeah, I read comics and I am a fan of sorts but if I didn’t work in the comic industry, I probably couldn’t really afford to go to comic-con. The hotel, the food, the passes and then all the stuff you end up spending money on that you really didn’t think about, it adds up. So I am there. And I enjoy it. But it’s not exactly fun. On the other hand, it’s not NOT fun either. I love it. And I hate it. And there are wonderful people, both fans and friends, there and there are horrible people there. And in so many ways it’s just incredibly overwhelming. The sensory overload is intense. The noise of 100,000 people, the heat of the lights and the bodies and the sight of the crowds is enough to make any sane person run in the other direction. But I am there to work. And I do. I worked two jobs again this year and it was…tiring.

Now, I have worked in retail before. And this is retail. But it’s taken to a whole new extreme. I have also worked in an amusement park and at that time, I thought there would never be anything worse than making and serving pizza to thousands of people on the fourth of July, in New Jersey, on a hot day, in a tiny, unventilated building that had 4 pizza ovens working at about 500 degrees each. But comic-con is…something else. I currently have only about 70 percent of my voice because I had to talk, all day, every day. I had to answer questions and pitch products and sell, sell, sell. And yes, sometimes yell, yell, yell. NO, THOSE ARE NOT FREE! But, I do love it. When I am not hating it.

It’s fun and it’s terrible and it’s everything you could ever think a group of 100,000 people with strong opinions and obsessions and no clue and too many clues could ever be. And although the news and the media would have you believe it’s a total freak show…well, there is an element of that but in general it’s people you know and like and sit next to at work and school and it’s your neighbor and your brother and your sister and you. You are all there. And I probably spoke to a lot of you.

I got back to L.A. yesterday afternoon and I was tired. Today I think I feel even more tired. I am hoping by tomorrow to be somewhat closer to coherent.

Gone.

Things that are conspiring to keep me from sleeping

1. stress, both real and imagined
2. fear, both specific and generic

and speaking of fear…can I just tell you that I have been programmed by my education to not sleep? Seriously. And I am betting it’s a generational thing because I am pretty sure anyone who went to school with me has this lingering fear of nuclear holcost and if everyone in my eighth grade class has it, then I am betting that pretty much everyone from that era has it. I can’t be the only one who spent an entire semester in a darkened classroom watching movies about nuclear winters, can I? And when I say movies, I mean MOVIES, Tora Tora Tora, The Atomic Cafe, The Day After…lots of them. And the teacher wore fatigues! Ok, maybe we were the only ones but that one semester of eighth grade social studies has trained me to lie in bed at night and fear the worst. It’s bad enough that the kitchen floor is dirty or that the cat box could use a good cleaning or that I may have spilled paint on the counter and forgot to clean it up but then I start to worry about faces melting and ducking and covering and…oh, you get the picture…anyway

3. tossing and turning of husband
4. whirring of fan…why, oh, why don’t we have an air conditioner in the bedroom?
5. That damn bird that has learned how to mimic an alarm clock. SERIOUSLY. And he starts going off around 3 a.m. Bastard.

BUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THAT”S O.K. I DON'T NEED SLEEP ANYWAY!

Why? Because I am a TIRED GIRL, that’s right. And the Tired Girls are about ready to take over San Diego once again. And when I say “take over” I pretty much mean sit quietly at our table and talk nice to you when you walk by. But we will be there, at the convention center, from Wednesday night to Sunday evening and we will be peddling our wares. And I don’t mean anything dirty by that…unless you have a lot of money, then we can talk. NO, NO! I keeeed, I keeeed. (Good Lord, can you tell how tired I must really be if I am making prostitiuion jokes?). We’ve got all kinds of cool stuff and most of us are reasonably nice people so please, stop by if you are in the neighborhood, won’t you? Say “HI” to Anna, Jodi, and Sherri…and me too!

And don’t forget to go see our boys at Big Boss. They are super swell and we love them, especially Jason! Stop by his blog for more Comic-Con pimping and see if you don’t get all excited over the geekery.

See you in a week or so!